Structuring Chaotic Minds

Turning Points: My Journey of Resilience and Empowerment

• Melissa Franklin • Season 1 • Episode 14

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Every step we take on life's journey shapes who we become, and sometimes those steps lead us through shadowed valleys and over arduous peaks. I, Melissa Franklin, am here to share with you not just the triumphs but also the trials of a life devoted to education, a path marked by personal hardship and professional turbulence. As you listen, you'll feel the raw emotion of a single mother's resolve to rise above poverty, pursue academic excellence, and carve out a space as an influential educator.  It's a story of resilience and the unyielding pursuit of mental wellness, especially during the isolating times of the COVID-19 pandemic.

This episode is an open book of my experiences, detailing the stark realities of transitioning to a workplace that felt more like quicksand than solid ground. I recount the heartache of losing mentors and the strength found in choosing my health over a toxic roles. It's a candid conversation about the often unseen struggles within professional life and an affirmation to anyone navigating similar waters that their well-being must take precedence. Through my narrative, I offer solidarity and hope, advocating for mental wellness not as a luxury but as an essential foundation for a truly successful life. Join me on this intimate exploration of how when the going gets tough, the tough get going – and grow stronger with every step forward.


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Melissa Franklin:

Hello, my dear listeners and friends, welcome to a very personal episode of Structuring Chaotic Minds. I'm Melissa Franklin and today I'm going to be answering the questions behind my why and what structure, innovations and structuring Chaotic Minds is all about. I'm not just your host today, I'm also your storyteller, sharing my own saga. So think of today's tale as one of trials and triumphs, and, hopefully, one that you can see as resilience in the face of adversity. Join me as we walk through the chapters of my life, each one a stepping stone to who I am today. Welcome to Structuring Chaotic Minds, a show focused on balancing mental wellness and life. If you're just like me, then you likely enjoy crushing your goals, but it's also possible that right now, you're struggling with anxiety, being overwhelmed or balancing life due to mental health. I'm here to help. I'm your host, melissa Franklin. I'm a leadership and personal development coach on a mission to amplify the fellow voices about our situations, share critical information and knowledge with our family and friends and, at the same time, help remove the social BS about mental wellness and mindsets.

Melissa Franklin:

Now, my journey began in the grips of what would be considered poverty, and we slowly moved up to what can be considered humble beginnings. Yet, within the walls of my struggles, I was a student with dreams that were larger than life. Concentrating in class, though, was always a battle, but my spirit still remained unyielded. I had a dream of getting into college and going and making sure I got those degrees, and I wanted to be successful. Still, I was a lively one, always talking. I think my teachers truly wondered how did I ever stop talking? Yet I kept my grades up, and I even graduated early. I was everywhere in school, sports, band clubs. I was a whirlwind of energy and ambition. In college, I embraced my academic journey, with the full scholarship in hand, to my dream school, texas A&M University. Life had other plans for me, though. Health challenges turned my college years into a marathon rather than a sprint, and when I returned home, life took another turn. I quickly found myself wanting to get married to make sure I could have children, and I did all this at a very young age.

Melissa Franklin:

Juggling the roles of now being a student, mother and, eventually, a single mother was more than a test of time management. It was more of a test of perseverance. I eventually found my footing in teaching, a field that I had danced around with since high school. Tutor, mentor, even permanent substitute. All roles, math roles, basically. But I played all these roles. Stepping into the role of a full-time teacher was a leap into, technically, what was known as my family were educators and all had that background, but was still unknown for me as I was pursuing counseling. It was unconventional in my approaches, in the way how I did things. I was very resistant towards traditional methods and it definitely caused ripples. I like to say that I ruffled a few feathers along the way. Yet through the combination of cooperative learning and holding my students to a higher level of accountability, we were able to see the fruits of our labor, and by we I mean me and the students. They were thriving learning and growing.

Melissa Franklin:

And there I was, seventh grade math pre-algebra teacher. You know, teaching the class that no one else wants to teach. Kids can't do a calculator to bury the fractions. Now we're doing ratios and decimals of percents. Put it all together, make it all work. Nobody even wanted to stay there longer than a year prior to me, and I finally figured out why. Still, I was extremely ambitious and with all of this, I found myself not only teaching this class, but now I was the grade team leader. I was a statewide course leader, teaching this course to other teachers in our organization.

Melissa Franklin:

I was a cooperative learning coach and, above all, a mom, finally tasting that sweetness of financial freedom that I had been seeking for so long. My extreme ambition and driven work ethic led me to nearly six figures every year. I achieved multiple awards from work, including titles like teacher of the year and even leaders making a difference. My students success continue to grow, as did my knowledge in the content. As these areas continue to progress, I continued incorporating cooperative learning and making sure that students were in my classroom for more than just passing their exams. I was able to work alongside with others to grow a math pilot program for organization. I was excited because it was an opportunity to make the lives of teachers easier in a way that I had wish I had early in my career, as well as help all students grow and learn conceptually.

Melissa Franklin:

With each day my confidence continued to grow in the classroom and soon I sought out new opportunities to maintain that financial freedom and still be able to maintain a balance that allowed me to watch my children and be more present, also requiring less working roles so I could be more present. Eventually, the role of assistant principal in a new region was given and I was ecstatic. I got to be in a new region that I loved, plus working under an amazing leader I was so eager to learn from. It was here that I got to continue to contribute to the math pilot, now as an instructional leader instead of the role of a teacher. I got to see a blossom, as well as the organization to national recognition.

Melissa Franklin:

But just as I was finding my stride, the world shifted and covid struck. The pandemic changed everything. My boss and mentor, who I truly admired, was now departing on to a better opportunity, and I was left with others to steer school in very uncharted waters. My partner and friend now became my boss and juggled with her own struggles at home, often leading to her having to work remotely With a remote boss and mounting challenges in the building. Tension grew and so did my resentment for the entire situation.

Melissa Franklin:

It was during this time that personal losses hit me even harder. There was the passing of my favorite grandfather, who was my father figure growing up, and there was also a health crisis I dealt with that saw me in a mental institute. The weight of these experiences was beyond crushing. After a brief leaf of absence from work, I returned only to be struck by COVID, landing myself in the hospital not once but twice, with my support system now living four hours away. The only constant for myself and my kids was my best friend, who, in a tragic twist of fate, also passed away that summer. The toll on my mental and emotional well-being was immeasurable.

Melissa Franklin:

It was then that I realized I truly needed a change and a completely different direction. In the wake of such turmoil, I stepped away from leadership and turned towards math intervention and instructional coaching. However, the educational landscape was shifting and the anxiety of all of it was beyond overwhelming. That's when structure innovations was born. It became a beacon to those who find themselves in stormy seas of balancing professional and personal challenges. I was able to take the knowledge I had from backwards planning my own goals and growing in my own life freedoms to helping others find the balance, to be able to truly take a job and then say no, this isn't for me, and be able to walk away and still feel okay that they will find what's next for them. Eventually, teachers began to seek out help with the pilot program materials that were left behind at my previous organization, and that's actually how SI education was founded, also known as structure innovations education. It was a testament to my belief in the transformative power of teaching everyone to be a leader first in education, by implementing planning and structure with a cooperative approach, students can adapt to an environment in front of them as they would be expected to in the real world.

Melissa Franklin:

As we were on the cups of launching a nonprofit, extending our reach even further, life has always had more lessons in store for me. I ventured into program project management to maintain a personal cash flow in between the quarterly payouts for my company. I found an amazing boss who I was beyond excited to learn more about curriculum and program development, as well as programs and these were just extensions of my expertise in all the years and she actually respected my work life balance and understood what I had gone through. I was very transparent. I was explaining. I have to take things slow. She was amazing. She was super supportive. Life was great. It seemed too good to be true. Students were amazing in the work life balance with having such an inspiring leader, because she truly valued equity and inclusion.

Melissa Franklin:

She soon resigned from the organization, though, just as my previous mentor had, because she found an amazing opportunity that made her even happier. So I had to be happy for her, and, just like before, though, I was left without anyone to be able to manage me or coach me in a role that I was actually hired for. She allowed me the space to complete projects as necessary and still maintain a balance of working from home, and now these new managers that were going to be left in charge were not really going to be aware or very understanding of a situation, because they didn't hire me or understand what I was hired for in a role that she had originally created herself. So, as she left recommendations for me to be promoted to director of curriculum, I was simply given more expectations to run other processes of other programs I was in place for, not because these people were being malicious and taking advantage of me, but mainly because no one was left in the organization who actually knew anything about curriculum and programs. They needed to hire somebody else. We actually needed to hire about five other people.

Melissa Franklin:

I figured, since everyone stills there seemed to have great intentions, always talked about nurturing relationships, I'd be okay without my boss and I'd adjust like everybody else, but, as fate would have it. The vision I had became clouded very quickly, both metaphorically and physically, as I lost my vision due to high blood pressure Battling. My bipolar disorder hit its worst as I started having ideations of no longer being here and no longer continuing with my life. Work became a place of deadlines and not support. As I reached out to my managers and was very upfront about what was going on, I was uncovering misallocated funds and, instead of being given more information to budgets and what I was actually in charge of, I was actually scapegoated and pushed away with what felt like bullying.

Melissa Franklin:

Often I was encountered with remarks on how I wasn't being nice because I was asking too many different questions or pushing back. Eventually, instead of being allowed to report the truth to the board, as I was hired to do, it shifted into allowing others to disseminate. The information they built was like bit to actually share. I couldn't understand why the focus of being nice was always named as the highest rather than being honest, kind and clear. I t really just came off as a fear of open conflict because individuals weren't ready to provide the answers or face the facts that things weren't going to plan.

Melissa Franklin:

My doctors made it clear through multiple forms of communication with my employer that I was struggling with severe anxiety and panic attacks that were being exasperated by my current work situation and were not exasperated when I had first started working there. Then I was questioned as to why I looked so out of it when I needed to be somewhere, but my doctor's orders were to work from home. I was expected to carry out pleasantries and avoid honesty until relationships were established Completely understandable, however difficult for others to navigate when they don't understand why I'm never there, when they don't understand why I have to work from home because it's medically required. I got to the point that I couldn't even hear the doorbell ring without hysterically crying, and these spells would last for hours. But I needed to worry about other people's feelings because of miscommunications, and my boss didn't even care about my own well-being. I felt so undervalued and used. I understood that certain individuals weren't used to getting that kind of feedback and much less really any coaching at all. They were resistant and that was fine. However, this continued to lead to being easier to avoid taking responsibility by the superiors that were put in place and placing blame on my previous manager as well as myself. So it became more and more clear that I needed a different type of change.

Melissa Franklin:

My doctors urged me to walk away when my employer refused to follow their orders and recommendations to accommodate the medical conditions I was dealing with. As I was told, I could simply apply and wait to qualify for Social Security and claim disability because I was not going to be able to work. I was actually told to start looking into your disability options and your insurance options. I started working with HR, started looking into everything. When I put in doctors' orders to go through hospitalization and actually start the processes for those absences to set everything in place for my disability, I was shocked to hear that all of a sudden they were changing insurance providers. Interesting, I thought, as I had just talked to the HR director the week before and was told I'd be the first employee in the history of the company to qualify for short term or possibly long term disability. Call it a coincidence, but I have the records Still.

Melissa Franklin:

Every doctor's order I gave or documentation submitted came back with even more excuses and never the actual rationale or reasoning as to why I had to be there for jobs or performances and tasks that truly didn't require an in person presence. I realized, as loud as I can be and as spoken as I am, if they're doing me like this, they're going to be doing this to plenty of other people and, honestly, I just don't want to part in all of it. Whether it's conscious or unconscious, I don't need to be a part of it. So I stopped fighting back. I was finally able to leave, and leave safely. I chose life, I chose health, I chose a path where my experiences could light the way for others.

Melissa Franklin:

Today's structure innovations isn't just a company. It's a vessel carrying my stories, my lessons and my hope to others. So here I am, sharing this journey with you. I was told recently by someone who I've grown to admire, that you have to share your information, and if you're not sharing your information, then technically you're kind of an a-hole. So here's me sharing my stories. Here's me being vulnerable and honest to let you know you're not alone. Structure innovations in my story is a path that is paved by both tears and triumphs, but each step is worth it. So, through structuring chaotic minds, I can share my stories of resilience and rising through the ashes with each and every single one of you, while you all can find strength in that vulnerability and if my story resonates with you, if it sparks a flame with you, please know that you're not alone. Together, we can turn the chaos of our lives into structure, adversity into opportunity and our dreams into reality.

Melissa Franklin:

Please join us next time as we sit down with my daughter, alyssa Freene. We'll be taking a deep dive into the balancing act of life and professionalism and how integrating AI into our lives has opened new doors for mental wellness and work-life harmony. It's a conversation you won't want to miss. Thank you so much for joining me for today's episode. To catch up on the rest of the season, visit structuringchaoticmindscom or take a quick browse on your current app to see which episodes resonate with you. If you struggle with your own mental wellness or even just balancing life, we have a team of individuals at our site who can help. You can visit structuranidationscom and find a coach or mentor fit for you. Thank you for joining me once again, Alyssa Franklin, on this episode of structuring chaotic minds. Stay structured and smiling.