Structuring Chaotic Minds
Welcome to Structuring Chaotic Minds: A Show Focused on Balancing Mental Wellness & Life. Created for individuals just like you and me who struggle with anxiety, being overwhelmed, and balancing life due to mental health. I'm your host Melissa Franklin. I am a leadership and development coach who suffers from the amazing combo of Bipolar I disorder and ADHD. And yes, some people think I’m crazy, but I'm still crushing my goals. So, I'm on a mission to amplify the voices about our situations, share critical knowledge and information with our family & friends, and help remove the social BS about mental health and mindsets. Join me and my expert guests as we venture through our wonderful world of well…EVERYTHING! Between careers, finances, and even physical health, all the way down to your own personal self-care support groups and mental health. Let's go!
Structuring Chaotic Minds
Transformational Journeys: How Chance Meetings Ignite Change
In today's inspiring episode, host Melissa Franklin sits down with former client and now friend, Natalie Nunez, to explore the serendipitous encounters that have shaped their paths to personal and professional growth. From an unexpected meeting at a city dinner to battling through personal crises and professional upheavals, they share their stories of resilience, learning, and transformation. Tune in to hear how Natalie turned her life around under Melissa's guidance and how these experiences propelled Melissa to new heights in her own life coaching career. This episode is a heartfelt look at the impact of mentorship, the power of showing up, and the unexpected ways our lives can change when we're open to new connections.
Whether you're looking for motivation to overcome your own hurdles or just a story of hope and human connection, this episode is a testament to the power of support and friendship in the journey of self-improvement. Join us for a dose of inspiration on "Structuring Chaotic Minds" – where chaos meets structure and life transformations happen.
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Welcome to Structuring Chaotic Minds, a show focused on balancing mental wellness and life. If you're just like me, then you likely enjoy crushing your goals, but it's also possible that right now, you're struggling with anxiety, being overwhelmed or balancing life due to mental health. I'm here to help. I'm your host, melissa Franklin. I'm a leadership and personal development coach on a mission to amplify the fellow voices about our situations, share critical information and knowledge with our family and friends and, at the same time, help remove the social BS about mental wellness and mindsets.
Speaker 1:Welcome back to Structuring Chaotic Minds. I am Melissa Franklin, your host, and today we have an inspiring guest. That was actually at the very beginning of my life coaching journey and starting Structure Innovations. Our guest today is Natalie Nunez. She is a former client of mine who transformed her life and career in so many remarkable ways. Natalie, welcome to the show. Hi. So I know we've already been like chatting it up, but we're going to have to focus and actually so I know we've already been like chatting it up, but we're gonna have to focus and actually focus on what we're supposed to talk about today and we need to make sure that we stay on track and such that's okay.
Speaker 1:I am excited to have you here. Let's go ahead and share with the audience how our story started, like how we both ended up at that same femme city dinner by chance. I don't know about you, but I wasn't gonna to go, not going to go either, and somebody pushed me out of my chair and my version was probably so different than yours. But what drew you to the event that evening and chat a little bit more about how we met?
Speaker 2:Okay, I think the really special part about you know, femme City in general is I wasn't expecting it to impact me the way that it did. I was going through a really tough time probably the toughest time that I've ever been through in my life and one of my friends she was just like. She was just like snap out of it. You know she's that's kind of her personality and I've always kind of been a very, I don't know, strong-minded person.
Speaker 2:It just wasn't in my nature and so my friend's version of like helping me was like snap out of it like come to this thing with me, you know, and you're gonna be fine, and I was just like, okay, you know, like she's like wear red, because I think that it was it was the theme for valentine's, yeah and I mean, give me a good theme and I'm fine.
Speaker 2:You know, like, give me a good theme and I'll get my mind off things quick. So, um, I turned, I put some red on and I was like all right, I'm going to suck it up, let's go. And it was really cool. It was really great experience because I walked in and I just like was able to see and hear like so many beautiful women who were going through things and coming out of it and and, um, it was just really inspiring. And so they were like okay, everybody has to go, it's your turn, your turn to go.
Speaker 2:And I did not want to go, I did not want to share, I was, I was only there to observe. But of course, you know, being in a room full of women like that, it's almost like they challenge you to speak up, like you're here, you know it's um, and so I thought that was really cool and I stood up and I, you know, randomly, in front of like a bunch of strangers, I just started crying and I want to know what on your end, I would love to know what connected you to me, because you automatically stood up and was like I want to help you but, um, just like I, I just remember standing there and being like hi, you know, this is what I'm going through and um, we just like connected and I thought that was really cool you know it's funny, because some people will say it's ironic or it was all in it or whatever.
Speaker 1:But yeah, there are just some situations that it's like dang, this is deja vu, or how do I feel like I knew I was supposed to be here but I wasn't gonna go to that dinner? My friend had been trying to convince me to go for quite a while already and I was like, oh, that's nice, no, and I'm blowing it off.
Speaker 1:And then, yeah, I was like first I gotta get dressed, wait, you picked a color for me. I don't like all that because I already don't like getting dressed up. Now I gotta go to the event, I gotta find parking. I don't know about all that, but it was a great experience once I got there and it adjusted my mindset towards like, okay, cool, learn from these women. And I remember Esperanzas had spoken that day and her speech on her journey and everything was so inspirational coaching mode like I'm in this. Yes, these women want to like, inspire each other and motivate and support.
Speaker 2:I want to be a part of that yeah, it was one of those stories that you're just like, wow, I need to get off my ass, like exactly, that's exactly. You know, fire under everybody's ass.
Speaker 1:So then you stood up and you started talking and, I'll be honest, I was just like, oh, that's beautiful, she's pretty, and I'm not even joking when I say like I felt something push me out of my chair. Yeah, and relating back to the friend who invited me that day, we had chatted about it when we left. She was like friend, it's like you got shoved out of your chair, because I remember being like okay, I guess it's my turn to talk. I know you. Just yeah. And that's when I was like I have one more spot available at the like the scholarship. Do you want it? You want this opportunity and you're like who's this crazy lady Exactly?
Speaker 2:And you're like, yeah, I've never done it before.
Speaker 1:You weren't going to connect with me at the end, that you were just saying yes for whatever. And I was like cool, and then we connected and then it was like, yeah, I think I need you, you need me, but hi, how are you? And it just kept evolving At least that's how I play it out in my head. And I remember our next visit at Cheddar's and it was just like you, like let's really talk about mindsets and roadblocks and the crap that we're telling ourselves, cause I think you were hyping me up and I was hyping you up. Yeah, I'm sure the disconnect and that was, um, definitely the start of our journey, yeah, so I don't know, was there anything else about that night that really, like stood out to you?
Speaker 2:You know, I think it's it was. It was really serendipitous. You know like it was. It was really cool because I wasn't going to go, you weren't going to go, but you know it was a vulnerable moment for me. I'm so glad that I went because once again, you know, I stood up and I was like, okay, like, like, what's your story? I'm like, okay, well, this is my story.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm going through, I'm just in a funk and I'm unmotivated and I'm, you know, I didn't want to call it depressed and I honestly still don't call it that because I don't feel like that's what it was. But, um, I was just going through a really hard time and I just started crying because I felt all of these women looking at me with such like hope and such like they're're just related to me and I felt welcomed and I felt like it was just a different type of experience. So that is unexplainable. And I just started crying and and I just look over, and you know, other people- are crying and I'm like, oh my gosh, like I totally did not even expect this to happen, but it was really cool and it was really.
Speaker 2:It was really eyeopening for me to to be like, okay, I do need a little bit of help, like figuring out and sorting through my thoughts, um and so you know, that's kind of how it started.
Speaker 2:It's just like recognizing that I needed some, some guidance and something like to get me out of my, my rut, cause I think 2020 was tough for a lot of people and 2021 was kind of like getting back on the rollercoaster of like, okay, let's get back to life, like let's get back to, you know, our normal routine. And then and then it was like what is my routine? And it was just such a really just misguided time of my life and especially being self-employed, and it's like you don't have that structure that sometimes people need. People need structure, right, not about myself, even somebody, a type like me who thrives on you know my own schedule and all that stuff. Like I was like whoa. I actually now really do need structure and I need to buckle down and plan out my day better, and that's basically what you helped me do, and I've been so much better ever since I had that structure.
Speaker 1:I still remember planning savers structure, like when we talked about your morning savers routine.
Speaker 2:No, I preach to people about it. I'm always like did you do your savers Like you need to do? You need to have a morning routine? I obviously you know cause I am a type. Okay, so I did eventually like mold them into my own that.
Speaker 1:I can totally see that.
Speaker 2:I had to, just so it worked for me, right, I felt more personal with it, but overall I just they were a game changer for sure. I love that you point that out.
Speaker 1:So I can say your journey itself while you did all the work and you kept showing up super excited straight up, it took a very dramatic turn that became like a significant health scare. Yeah, and I can share it from my perspective first. So I had just quit my job back in October and we were in February, no March, when it happened. Your scare was in March. I know it was in March because we were on spring break and you know how. I know it was in March Because I was at Disney World when you called me.
Speaker 2:Yes, I remember you were going like that.
Speaker 1:No, I was literally on the trip. Now I need you to also understand. An hour before you called me, I got a phone call from my boyfriend at the time who was telling me that I had just got served with papers from my ex-husband who was trying to sue me to go back and talk on custody. So I was like my world was already spinning out of control. I was angry, I was mad at people. I was like how dare they? I'm finally on a vacation and this trip cost me ten thousand dollars. Who do these people think they are? And then you called me. But you were a client who showed up and did the work all the time. So when you called me and there was just this sense of hopelessness and despair in your voice, none of my shit mattered anymore. I don't know how to explain it. Like it just went out the window and I was like Disney, what like? My client is calling me and I could tell I felt guilty. No, I don't want is calling me. And I could tell I felt guilty.
Speaker 2:Just wanted to talk. No, I don't want you to feel guilty.
Speaker 1:I want you to understand how, like, how much this stuff impacts me, because I had to be that too invested.
Speaker 1:I have, right, definitely invested in you guys, but it gets to the point where it's like I'm so invested in you guys, I have to be realistic on what I can and cannot take on and balance. So that was a learning opportunity for me very early on and I was grateful to have a client like you, because had it not happened until three, four years later that a client's actually going through life and I'm supposed to say, like, well, be sure to smile and focus on the positive, like how the hell do you do that? So, thinking about that, how did the possibility of the, an MS diagnosis, impact you while you were going through this coaching program with me?
Speaker 2:Well, I think you know everything happened all at once, so I kind of shortcutting it. But you know I what year was that 2020.
Speaker 1:I get so confused it was two summers ago and I know that because that's when we were back in 2022.
Speaker 2:Yes, March of 2022. Yes, so 2022 was rough, man, Like it was rough. So it started out really rough in January and then it just like. Then I was just like I decided I want to launch a business. I'm going to launch like something I'm really passionate about, which is accounting, which is my time, and I have been wanting to do a boutique for years and years and years with my mom, and just it was just like I've always loved fashion and I've always loved, you know, um, just fashion and wanting to do what, what, what I was passionate about and I was finally in a space in my life where I was able to do that. So I was just like, everything lines up, let me do it.
Speaker 2:And then, as I got into it, it really just was bad timing, you know, for me on a mental, on a mental note, because I just did not have like, I'm like, why am I not motivated to do this? Like what is wrong with me? Why am I not? You know, I have no urge to get out of bed and like, like, tackle all of the things that I need to do for the day, you know, and I my business. And then, of course, your business starts suffering your personal everything starts suffering your business, personal life. All of that. Um, I think that's kind of like when I was like Whoa like, and I started to stress myself out and then me being, you know, having no guidance Um, no, I take that back I was feeling really lost and I was like that's when I was kind of like I need help, you know, and I was feeling like mad at myself because I wasn't doing all of these things on my checklist which I've learned to grow through those those things and being so hard on myself now with 30 grind, but before it was like oh, you didn't check this off, you didn't do these things today, Like you were not accomplished, and I was just so hard on myself and it really took a toll on me stress-wise. And so I started to notice in my body like man, like I'm just tired, Um, I started to notice just different things in my body were changing and and my husband was like it's stress, I know it's stress and and so it started to kind of weigh on me through January and December and I was crying all the time and my body was sick and then, all of a sudden, and then I went to this thing with you and we kind of I was like, okay, I need help, let's do this. Like I need help, kind of managing my day and just getting through this like funk. I call it my porn coma.
Speaker 2:It lasted a long time but I needed to get through this like funk. You know that I was in like terrible, terrible brain fog where I couldn't even like formulate a thought. I couldn't formulate an idea. I'm an overly creative person so by fault, sometimes, you know, like if I'm, sometimes it has no space. I have no space for my creativity and it drives me insane. And so, you know, I really needed like some direction and so that's what you kind of did for me. So what happened was, you know, you, I took certain things where I'm like, okay, she's telling me that I need to get past these barriers, right, Like this is what I need to do, you know.
Speaker 2:And I just was, I was like, all right, I need to get past like being on video and being and promoting my business. I remember that. I remember that Putting myself out there, Right. So then I spent one night. I was like, okay, I'm going to introduce my business and I'm going to do this video and talk to, cause everybody was like your audience needs to see you and this and that. And I was just like.
Speaker 2:I just felt like really indifferent about it, but I was like I'm going to do it. I didn't really want to be the face of my business, I didn't want to be, I wanted to be on behind the scenes, but I did it anyway and so that, so that night I spent, it was 6 PM and I told my husband okay, I'm going to do this video really quick and then we'll have dinner. And I promise you I was doing that. I couldn't get my words out, Like I was like hi, like that, like, literally like, and then I would stop, and then I would record again and I'd be like I'd get maybe midway, like hi is Natalie, and and I just like.
Speaker 2:And so I started to get to the point where I started to push myself so far that my headache was getting really bad and I remember feeling like, oh my god, like I am, I started taking medicine just to like bypass this headache and then, um, I ended up six in the morning, so 12 hours later, like trying to just like tackle this like thing that I'm like no, I'm not gonna be scared to do this. I'm not gonna. You know, it was just like overly over, just putting too much pressure on myself. A, just you know not not listening to my body b you know, there's just so many things.
Speaker 2:I could go down that rabbit hole but I won't. But yeah, but I went to bed, whatever. So two days later I woke up and my eye was weird and I kept telling everybody like my eyes just feels weird, I think it's dry. I really don't have contacts or glasses, so I really don't deal with dry eye or itchy eye or anything like that. So I just remember being like my eyes dry, something's going on.
Speaker 2:I went to the doctor, you know, long story short, and the doctor was like Friday at 5 pm, friday at 5 pm, my doctor, this doctor that my husband sees he was like hey, my wife's feeling like weird with her eye. Can she come and take a look? Maybe you can give her some like prescription eye drops or something like that. And so I go I'm already a mess, right. And I go and I'm just like, hey, can you give me some eye drops? Like she's like oh no, you actually like, have you ever heard of MS? Like you, this is a sign of MS, you know. Like this is what you have. And dah, dah, dah. And I'm like what? And my eyes were dilated and it's five o'clock, the office is about to close. She's like yeah, like you. You know you should probably get this checked out.
Speaker 2:And I was just like, are you sure? Like is there anything else you know? Um, you could think it would be. You know, this is weird. I've been really stressed. This was a huge. I just had this huge, monumental like night the other night and I just feel like the stress on my body, really right, and no, no, no, no, no, this like and it was, was like put hand on my shoulder like you should prepare. You know, like you're gonna get through this. And I remember calling my husband like can you come pick me up? I can't even drive. Like my eyes were dilated first of all and I couldn't drive. And then I get home and I just was bawling and we had at the whole weekend. She's like okay, you need to get scans, you need to get this, you get that. Like I'm looking up stuff online.
Speaker 2:Of course, google is not your friend, it will tell you you're gonna die in one week absolutely tell you all these crazy things, like you do not want to go on Google, um, and it was just really terrible. I remember telling my husband like I can't do this, like I'm, I don't want to watch myself wither and disappear and all all the stages that you know you go through as an MS patient is really, it's really tough. And I just remember being like I, I wanted to like die. In that moment I was just like I don't want to do this, like don't, I can't, you know like, and it was such an extreme thought to have, like nothing that I ever think about, you know. But it was in that moment like fear just overcame me and I've never felt any fear like that before.
Speaker 2:I think it was fear for my family and fear for my son and fear for everybody that I loved, and I just was like I went into that protective mode. But I knew you guys are going to see me like this, like I just was in this, like Nope, this is not going to happen to me. And I remember calling you and being like I need direction, I need to know how to handle this, like instead of me falling apart, and like allowing myself to go down this horrible place and just like pry myself to sleep, or you know me being, you know, learning things that I've learned from you along, like within, like what a month it had been. I was like, okay, like how do, how do we tackle this? Like I need to know how to get through these next three months of testing without, you know, waiting on every single day, without waiting on results, without waiting on the what like, the what ifs were going to drive me crazy.
Speaker 2:And they and they did like I'm going to be real. But it helped me having this morning routine every day, like having something to wake up and say, okay, this is your thought process for the day. You absolutely control how your day is going to look. If you put it in your mind like these are your goals for the day, this is exactly what you know, like what the savers just have, everything in there. You know. So that break everything down.
Speaker 2:I don't want to get too far into it, but it helped me so much to like just prioritize my mental health during a time where I really needed it to be key, like on point. You know, like just nothing could mess with me. I had my walks, I had my book, I had, you know, you introduced me to so many great tools. That really just helped me have tunnel vision to the world around me, you know, because I really was just so locked in on my health and making sure that, you know I got help and everything that I needed in testing with a strong mindset. I think that was like really important and helped me get through such a difficult time.
Speaker 1:You said something that I want to paraphrase back only because I feel like a lot of women would have probably said the same thing. And you stated I didn't have help to get through it, or no, you said I didn't have help to get through. Oh, no, you said I didn't have the support I needed. And then you stopped yourself and you rephrased it into you were trying to get all this stuff done, and I think you meant what you said as in I didn't have help. And you didn't mean I didn't have help to, like, process things. Or, yeah, loved me and supported me. You literally meant like I didn't have enough support to get all the tasks done and there wasn't enough hours in the day.
Speaker 1:But the funny thing is, nobody assigned you to do that work. You technically put it on yourself because I was telling you like yeah, show up. But then you would edit and put it like glam and 100, it needs to look a certain way. So I would always be like you're going to stress yourself and I remember you calling me and yeah, I was at Disney world, so I dropped everything. I remember being in the hotel room. I had just gotten back, so it was ironic because I wasn't feeling well that day, so ironically I actually left animal kingdom.
Speaker 2:Me. That's the favorite one one. I was waiting for that one.
Speaker 1:I didn't feel well. Something told me go home, so I had gone back to the hotel by myself. Alyssa and Brayden had stayed. They had their communication. They were going to communicate back and forth. We were fine. I was supposed to go pick them up at three o'clock. Those were the instructions. I get back within 15 minutes, I'm hearing. I'm getting sued within less than an hour. As I'm breaking down, losing my shit, thinking like oh my god, what am I gonna do?
Speaker 1:am I gonna function? And then you call me with your situation and at first I was like my problems don't matter. Then, as more time went by, I'm not gonna lie. My head went straight to this is all in her head and I'm wondering how much the doctors don't know her yet. But I'm not going to say that because my best friend had passed away a year prior because of people assuming things were in her head. Yeah, how do I support?
Speaker 1:I hear about that very conflicted, right, but I was like, no, I'm too invested in you, like I'm, you're not gonna lose me. Tough like sorry, I'm not going anywhere, even if you want me to. And it's funny because other people who were fully invested and actually paid for the program didn't even show up as much as you did. So that, to me, made me like want to show up even more, for you to be like, nope, I gotta be there for what she needs. And as we went through the process, that's why I started saying focus on the morning sabers, focus on your silence, focus on your affirmations, focus on your visualization. Get that exercise and that reading in with the journaling so you can take a holistic approach to setting up your mornings to where you can focus on you. A Latina woman, we are always focused on being the perfect daughter, the perfect wife, the perfect mother that everybody else well-rounded.
Speaker 2:You know there's, yeah, a well-rounded woman or just a yeah, it's.
Speaker 1:But it needs to look how everybody else defines and that took a different one, and I loved watching that about you. So, thinking about that, what inspired that shift in overcoming those obstacles and actually opening 30 Grind and moving forward with something completely different?
Speaker 2:You know I think it was the biggest thing is, like you know, we have to know when it's time to leave a bad situation. Me, my body and my mind and my heart and my spirit, everything was just rejecting my, this boutique because it did require so much that I wasn't expecting, Like it required a lot more social media presence, and that I'm like I like to dabble in my personal social media where I like to have fun and it's just very fun, lighthearted. I never really post a lot of business on there, because it does get to for me. I like to keep it separate. I've always liked to keep it separate that way, and so it started to like, just be too much. Like, oh, you got to post this many times and you have to do these hashtags and this and that. And then it was like on a financial standpoint, I was like, well, I can't really hire models are too expensive.
Speaker 1:Now, I got to do it myself.
Speaker 2:And then now I'm like, oh, great, now let me when the most vulnerable time in my life that I'm having, let me just put myself in front of a camera now, like, and then just add to, you know, like whatever issues are going on, like I just topped everything off because that's what needed to get done for my business, like I wasn't thinking about me. So obviously that backfired, because it never works If your foundation is not strong. It's never going to work that way, and I think that that's when I knew, like you know what, this is just not a healthy situation for me. I'm not, you know, able to give it a hundred percent and I just really feel like it doesn't make sense and that's okay. And knowing when something is not right for you and walking away is something that I learned through your program too, because I learned to put myself first in, in through that and not go through these checklists and what I'm supposed to be or like, oh, I'm embarrassed, I just started this business and now it's supposed to be this and now I'm quitting this business and it's like, no, who cares what anybody thinks, who cares? You know it's, it's just didn't matter and I and I had to put myself first and that's what you know.
Speaker 2:It was like I was fine walking away from it. I had no regrets, no embarrassment. It was just like you know it just didn't work out. I tried something, it didn't work out and it wasn't the right timing and you know, I just felt so at peace with that decision. And then, you know, I think focusing on myself was super important. So, after letting that go, I really took a lot of time to focus on myself and focus on my growth and, like you know, I did a lot of reading. I feel like I need to turn my light on. It got dark all of a sudden. Is it too dark for you? Okay, no, you can pause it and you can turn on your light.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Hold on.
Speaker 1:I mean I got. You're definitely not as bright and stood out as you were.
Speaker 2:Oh wait, I have like hold on, hold on. I am tracking this. Sorry, we're good, so I forgot what I was saying.
Speaker 1:It's okay, so reiterating we were chatting about like how you got the business starting and like where you shifted the mindset blocks.
Speaker 2:So doing, you know, doing 30 grind.
Speaker 2:It was scary Cause I feel like I was.
Speaker 2:I had already like done a business that didn't work out, um, and I was like how do I go to the people that I love, like my support system, and be like, hey, I'm going to start another business now, you know, um, I was kind of like scared to do it, but you got to believe in yourself and do whatever you want to do, like I just I was just like, anyways, like this is what I'm going to do people and I know that they were going to support me because that's just how my support system goes, you know, they're just very they just have my back, they believe in me and and, um, I think that I had no fear going into that scenario and I just felt like it was the right time.
Speaker 2:You know, I had already focused on like letting go of a lot of my bad habits that I had learned throughout my, my pain and going through things, and I was like now, I know, going into a situation like how to prioritize my mental health and how to prioritize balance work-life balance is so important. You know, that was really important for me, that I learned, and so I kind of used all these pieces into like piecing together, like, okay, this is how I'm going to accomplish this goal and I'm not just diving into something trying to fit a mold of what other people do to make their business successful. I was just like, okay, I'm going to push myself in a way that's healthy, take my days off when I don't feel it Like, when I'm not in it and I feel like I need a moment. I'm going to just take the day off and I'm just going to be okay.
Speaker 1:And I honestly feel like God gave me you as a client early on, so I could learn that for myself because, yeah, I was at the beginning, I'll be honest, when you agreed to take my coach and I was like she doesn't even need me, I was seriously at the point that I was intimidated to even coach you and guide you because I was like what could she possibly learn from me? And then it was like, cool, I can see the things that she doesn't see, because she's telling herself all these lies that we tell ourselves as women, like we hear all the other junk that everybody puts in our heads.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, for sure, I was like I can at least help her get past that crap and let her see how amazing she is. Cool, that'll be my role. But I thought it was funny that you just said you had a business fail. So I had to go look it up and I was like on average because I know most businesses fails like it's uncommon for an entrepreneur to face failure. It's not uncommon for an entrepreneur to face failure in up to three businesses before even achieving any sort of success.
Speaker 1:Oh, a hundred percent, yes. So I thought that was funny because I'm like good for you. You failed at one.
Speaker 2:But, remember.
Speaker 1:So you beat the average. And then, on top of it, how many women are willing to quit their career and then go start a business? And how many people would be willing to push through that career and start a business when a doctor just got in their head and convinced them that they might've had MS? And then how many people would continue?
Speaker 1:take the coaching, fix it, shift their shit, do it and after a remodel of their house, because that's a whole different thing that you did on your off year. That was like crazy. I remember being invited for Christmas. I was like, oh okay, so this is what she's been doing.
Speaker 2:I just remodeled my bathroom, the whole thing.
Speaker 1:How is it you know what we need, our?
Speaker 2:outlets, sometimes Exactly.
Speaker 1:And she's still being creative, but she's finally focused on her. I'm so freaking proud of her.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I got to share that with you because, as people ask me, like, why didn't your business grow? Why didn't it grow? Because I got in my own head. Oh, you're your own worst enemy For sure. Yeah, and then back to SI education and starting the educational part, because that's what I knew, but I never wanted to be the face of SI education.
Speaker 1:I wanted my business partners to do it and they ended up doing it through more work on me. So it was lessons I wasn't ready for, and I had to learn how to stop trying to bring everybody along for the ride rather than the people who were meant to be there. So that was a whole nother thing. But honestly, if it wasn't for you being a client, I don't think I would have held myself to that sort of standard. So stick with yourself that you're already sparkle, you're already amazing, and I think as women, sometimes we forget how many people we still inspire and are watching us.
Speaker 2:So it's important and that was always oh absolutely, I would have never started this podcast if it wasn't for you, and I'll be honest.
Speaker 1:You inspired me and pushed me and you're like. You gotta share what you have to say. You know I am always about like.
Speaker 2:I always have this thing where, if you're around me, I'm going to inspire you to start some sort of business or do something or take some sort of risk. But I think there's this, there's this thing that I always see. I always like quote things, I love quotes and I love poems and all that stuff. So there's this one that says, like, while you're trying to, it's what does it say? It's like while you're, you know, thinking that you're a mess or you're not doing something right, somebody else is wondering how you do it all. Something like that.
Speaker 2:And that always gets me because I'm like God, that's so true, because people always you know, there's nice people that come up to you and they're like, oh my gosh, like how did you do this? Or you know, or we believe in you, or that was so cool. When I'm like, oh my God, crown and Karma was so embarrassing that you know, I have moments like that. And then they're like, oh, i's so sweet, like I do need to acknowledge that time in my life and I do need to acknowledge that I had a business that I really loved and I still love it. I just I couldn't give it the attention that it deserves because, you know and and so yeah, like it's, it's really cool to hear stuff like that, because while you're not a mess, like people are like no, no, no, no, like you're teaching me something that's.
Speaker 2:That's really cool.
Speaker 1:I think it's funny that you say that crown and camera felt like a failure to you, because I also remember, too, like we were going through branding and we were going through like let's get Melissa to stop wearing black. Yeah, I was gonna convince me to stop wearing my principal type of teacher clothing, like, come on, yeah, right, this is what I always wear. Yeah, and you actually got me out of that to where my fashion wardrobe flipped completely, like, but it was something that still resonated and made me feel comfortable yeah that's good.
Speaker 1:I'm glad I wouldn't have had that without crowning karma.
Speaker 2:So I know that was my goal, you know for you.
Speaker 1:But it impacted women like myself to feel we're women, right like, feel like a real myself, to feel like we're women, right like, feel like we were dressing for other people rather than for ourselves. Yes, and that was another thing too, because for me, I've never done the makeup. I don't really wear makeup, I don't shit, I barely do my hair. So at that point, and this glammed up doll and I'm supposed to coach her, like how is she not looking down on me? And there I see you, nervous, trying to give me the right answers on the on the notepad. I'm like we're both in our own head and not realizing how we can impact, how we, yeah, we're like we.
Speaker 2:I mean, I'm such a I'm my own worst enemy sometimes, but the fact that we're aware of it is is why you know we're going to be okay. I was really aware of it. And we I'm like I can course correct in the moment and be like, oh, I'm being my own worst enemy right now. You better chill out. I talk to myself like that all the time. Or if I see something, I'm like, ooh, that girl's pretty, or you know, we always do that naturally. Like I always say, nope, comparison is a thief of joy.
Speaker 2:I I say those things out loud all the time because it sounds so corny and stupid. But sometimes you need those reminders because we're humans, right, like we're always going to compare or we're always going to turn ourselves or put ourselves down. And so for me, I always have to say those words of affirmation, like just to reassure myself and check myself and be that friend in my head that we always talk about. Like you know, she lies to you in good ways, yes, she tells you everything you want to hear and she checks you and you know when you need it. So, like that friend in my head that we kind of have created um throughout this process is always there with me.
Speaker 1:I think it's funny because we're going to out your best friend, melissa, because I honestly, like I don't even know her but I still feel like I know her only because you're naming that type of female and that would be my rock and I thought I met her and I was like that's, oh, that's why she says I remind her of her best and we have the same name.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, that's so cool. Yeah, stuff happens, we cross paths, things are familiar. For a reason. I really believe that. And then it's funny because you ended up connecting me with your nephew and, honestly, bryce opened up other opportunities and things that I didn't realize. Wow myself and just just working with your family in general was like thank you for that opportunity. Oh, I just I'm the biggest advocate so much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm the biggest advocate. I think that you know I, I think that for uh, for me, when you, when looking at a life coach, I never thought about doing one ever.
Speaker 1:I remember that you're like I can't tell people. I have a life coach now. I tell everybody they need a life coach.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm like what? So I just was not really into the idea. I was just just kind of like who are these people? You know, because there's a lot of scams out there, right? So when you stood up and you were like I want to be your life coach, like, if you want to, I'm offering your services. Let's see if this works out, I was like, all right, I'm going to try it.
Speaker 2:I'm always like that with things, like when opportunities to take it, especially if it's free, okay. So I was like all right, let's do it. You know like, why not? So what I loved about you when I still love about you is that you're very straight up, and I feel like some people need that. They need that kind of coaching. They don't need someone who is like a yes person or someone who's half listening like, or someone who's going to sugarcoat things. It doesn't work well for me. I don't like sugarcoating. I like I'm an over communicator and so for me, your style worked perfectly, because I needed to hear those things, especially for someone who's a type very, you know like, I needed someone to be like no, tell me what I'm supposed to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Because there'll be times where I'm like.
Speaker 2:I'm also like but this is going on, or like I'm feeling this and you'd be like, okay, well, and like that's so, blah, blah, blah. You know, and I loved that tough love aspect of it because it was true, because it was like okay, like those things are so, like they don't even matter. So I still do those things in my head, I'm still like and you know, I still check myself in that way because it's so important to just like change the subject and I always tell my friends this when they're going through something and I'm like change the subject and your mind, and that's just you changing the subject in your mind, like you have the power to do that. And that's the biggest thing that I took away from this program is is just the power that you have over your brain and your mind and like where it goes and like changing the subject is important. You don't waking up every day, like Gabby Bernstein always says. That was the book that you turned me on to. That's my favorite book and I turn, I give it to everybody.
Speaker 1:I'm like read this book, it's going to change your life and I I think I've read it like three times I need to connect you with one of my newest clients who's doing the meditation process, because you guys weren't going to totally connect because of the Gabby Bernstein stuff.
Speaker 1:however, I mean she's the best that just unleashed the conversation that we said we may or may not chat about yeah but our professional conversations have taken us over to personal lives, and I think that continued support and turning into a friendship was something completely different. And then, going through my own personal life, you said a phrase that I've never heard somebody else say, but, oh my god, it stuck with me in a way, which one? Oh gosh, hey, what what did I say? Man, I'm gonna tell you a lie anyway, so you just tell yourself whatever lie you need to make the story make sense oh my god, control your narrative, control your narrative no, it's true.
Speaker 1:So at this point, if people don't make me happy, before I used to be like, oh I wonder what they went through in life, or like I wonder what lack of experience they have now. At this point, I don't even question it. I'm just just like nobody taught them, I just move on. Yeah, because if not, I would just be angry, because I wonder why some people get to skip those steps and I was required to take those steps.
Speaker 2:So for me it's like.
Speaker 1:I'm just going to tell myself the lie that makes me feel the happiest.
Speaker 2:It sounds bad but the reality of it is. It sounds funny Cause like when I told you that, I was just like no, it definitely sounds funny, but it's funny, but the reality is all your narrative. Yeah, you're just controlling your narrative Right, and then you're also giving people the benefit of the doubt technically until they prove otherwise. So, like when someone you know, I think I carried it through my single life because I would be like he didn't call me. You know like what? I thought he loved me or he liked me. He didn't.
Speaker 1:He died clearly, yeah, and I'm like you know he must be busy.
Speaker 2:He probably had a long day. Like promise you I would do that and I just it helps me just be so nonchalant and like worry about the what ifs behind stuff and get to go down these tunnels and rabbit holes and like waste my time, um, because at the end of the day you will find out the real reason, right like it's gonna come up, and I rather just not waste time doing that until, like I need to. Um, but yeah, like I really think that I'm glad that that's stuck, because I do it all the time I'm. I'm like I give people the benefit of the doubt all the time. Sometimes it has nothing to do with them and it has more to do with just like I need to protect my peace. I'd rather tell myself this and move on, you know you're not wrong.
Speaker 1:I think that's happened a lot for me as um, a business owner who went from the educational realm and believing that if I went into business and I was the leader, then I could control the narrative more to where people wouldn't get mistreated.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I also had to remind myself that those same people who would mistreat other people in those businesses but they might come along for the ride yeah, and that would impact the situation if I'm trying to somehow adjust it, when people will push back against the norms that they've been allowed to do the entire time. Yeah, it was a wake up call for me, like, oh snap, if I start pushing against people's laziness, they're going to get upset because now all of a sudden I've lit a fire and they realize they don't sparkle as much as they claim. So that's gonna be unpopular. And it was funny because as my popularity technically grew, the hating grew and I struggled with it and it got in my head. But the funniest thing is the more coaching I would get and the more individuals that would push sales or marketing would actually be applauding me and.
Speaker 1:I'm like, why are you applauding?
Speaker 2:me, they hate me. Well, they say like if you had haters and you're doing something right.
Speaker 1:Exactly and they're like but they know you, so they're still talking about you, there's still controversy, there's still conversation. I guess I never thought about it like that and slowly but surely, I didn't have to worry about the haters. I had such ugly haters that would come on and say some really mean stuff, and I know who they are. They're all the people who didn't keep along with the business. Like we got rid of them or whatever the case is, it's fine. But those same haters eventually dwindled off, because my clients or different people would just be the ones arguing back with them like we, we're going to handle it for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I just don't even look at the DMs anymore. I will put a comment and they respond and it's up to the team to actually go check the DMs. And I asked the team like go check, what are they saying? What do you want? How do we communicate back with them? Get better, yeah, get there.
Speaker 1:But I'm not going to let that stuff get in my head. No, you shouldn't. It totally was impacting me and then I was realizing I wasn't showing up for the people I was supposed to, but in the DMS I'd get somebody else lining in saying thank you, because I am bipolar. Thank you Cause I'm dealing with depression. Thank you Cause I actually wanted to take my life last week and if it wasn't for this conversation, I wouldn't have been able to have this. I needed to be the woman that I needed in those moments and I needed the permission to be able to say I wasn't okay or things weren't okay. And if I didn't continue to model that, how was I going to tell other people to speak up and say that right? So that's definitely been the journey for me and I've loved that about you being a client and eventually evolving into a friend.
Speaker 1:And now I'm like she has her coffee shop at La Cantera so proud. It's not even funny, because it's definitely become now like a networking hub and like geez Femme City. At this point, we're going to be hosting our coffee session at your I'm so excited about that yes, so thinking about that, it's no easy feat to be able to do this.
Speaker 1:I remember like it involves work. Fine, no, it's become like, definitely with the marketing and such. It's definitely going to become a community hub. So, especially for women entrepreneurs, I know they're going to keep gravitating back there. So how do you see your business playing a role in empowering other women in their business?
Speaker 2:You know, I think that 30 Grinds for me it's such a passion project because it's a project that I did right out of coming out of like a big, like a big monumental growth period, right, like I was, and I was almost like, okay, I'm gonna challenge myself to get back to me and, um, I think that that's, it's a symbol of that. You know, it's like if people knew the backstory of like okay, a year ago this was not even something that I imagine would be here. Like so much can change in a year is something that I'm like realizing now, right, but also I feel like if there's other, I just I don't even know how to formulate my words but like if there was other women who are at home and they're like I don't know how I'm gonna get there, like, whatever their goal is, I don't know how I'm going to get there. Like, whatever their goal is, I don't know how I'm going to get there when I have X, y, z going on in my life and all these problems that you can pile up and on, all these obstacles that you can put in front of yourself, and it's like you have to get into that. So you get into that survival mode where you're like no like in that undeniable belief in yourself, where you're like I can do this and I'm going to prove myself wrong. And I'm going to prove, you know, I'm going to use everything that I've learned and and and apply it to like my growth and like I'm going to do something that's just so crazy and so like out of the out of like my comfort zone, that, and I'm going to be really proud of myself at the end of it. You know, and that's kind of like how it went.
Speaker 2:And I found this business and I was like, okay, let's like I partnered up with one of my really good friends and you know, cause he's on the financial side, so he's just he knows what I don't know, you know, and I think that's important when you like network with someone, you network across versus networking up. And so I I was like let's do this. And and it was so fast, I promise you. I like March of last year, we had no direction. April, no, I was just going to barista school like, hopefully, this, you know, I'll do this first half, and then, literally, I saw a post and I was like, oh, let's act on this. They were like we're selling right now we need it, and it was just like you would not.
Speaker 2:I feel like it's a symbol of when you, when, when there's something in front of you and you really want it to happen, like you can make anything happen if you put your mind to it.
Speaker 2:And that's my goal for people when they come, when they ask me, like how did 30 grand come about? And I'm like, girl, well, it came about by me having a wild hair and saying I'm going to go for this thing that I've always wanted to do, but I've always been scared to do it, and I'm going to do it and I'm going to figure it out along the way. And we and we funded everything ourselves. We didn't get any loans, we didn't do anything, and we did everything ourselves, which at first, we were like going with angel investors and all that stuff, and we were like, oh, like I'm going to invest in myself and I'm going to do this. And I think that's when you put the pressure on yourself. Like that, that's when you, you absolutely like, everything is tested. You know, like that's when you know like I got to do this, I got to wake up every day and show up for myself because there's nobody else that's going to do it for you, and so what?
Speaker 1:I get my refund if.
Speaker 2:I don't show up. You're not, you know like you're. Yeah, your grind is everything, like that's exactly what it's going to be. So, so, yeah, like I just I feel like for other women who feel like it's so impossible and like coming out of something really tough or just having so much on their plate, or maybe having no money, like I don't have. I didn't come from family with money, you know like we had to. Just I came from a mom who hustled and like needed to make do with what she got and the you know the cards that she was dealt, and that's kind of the same thing with me, like married or not, I've always been the same way and I think you and I talked about that so many times where I'm like I don't, I don't like being pigeonholed into this, like oh well, you're a wife and you know like you're taking care of so many times and I'm like no, no, no.
Speaker 2:I'm my own woman, you know like and my husband. I love that about him, that he allows me to be my own woman and cause that's important. I was raised by a strong woman. So, going back to you know your question. I think it's just important for for other people not even just women, but other people to see something like wow, they just went for it, it like it just happened, and it's something that is.
Speaker 2:It's 30 grind, it's about your thirties, it's I named it that because I was like my thirties have been the most challenging decade for me, in a good way and a good way and a bad way.
Speaker 2:You know, it's been the times when I'm like at my highest, when you know president's club and like you know doing so many things in medical sales and all this stuff, and then like leaving my job and real estate to be like, nope, this is what I'm going to do. And, like you said, taking that leap and and betting on yourself, and like there's so many different twists and turns and have gone on in my thirties that I was like this is a monumental time and everybody around me that's my age, you included like monumental time and everybody around me that's my age, you included like we've all done some crazy stuff, you know, and take some crazy risks and you know during this period of time that the 30 grind is basically like an ode to that. It's just like I will always be forever grateful for this period of my life because it's going to set me up financially maybe, hopefully, but you know, mentally it's going to set me up in general Like I'm going to be really proud of what I've accomplished during this 10 years of my life.
Speaker 1:I was very proud of you when I took you through the exercise of writing your mission statement for life and when you had to, and such I feel like a lot of clients struggle with that at first because they want it to sound a certain way.
Speaker 1:Everybody wants us to start to some oh yeah, once they actually realize that I will never let you be people-centered, church-centered, daughter-centered, role-centered, like you have to serve your core values in order to honestly feel fulfilled in life, or it's just not going to work. And there was something about your mission statement that I think it's funny, because slowly but surely it took you away from crown and karma Cause that wasn't aligned to what you actually wanted to do.
Speaker 1:You were good at it but it wasn't part of your journey. So I love that eventually you're kind of stuck with the mission statement and actually did the persistence of what was important to you when you built a new mission statement with 30 grind that actually aligns to the values of what you say and it just I love it and that's why I was like, please share your mission, like please.
Speaker 1:I love that 30 grind is literally a testament to what women or people our age have gone through and what they go through in that grind of what they're going through now like even the you know our symbol is.
Speaker 2:I was like I want a spilled cup. I know that for sure. I want a spilled cup and it's mainly because I want it's messy, like right, the grind is messy it and your life is messy like it. That is the biggest message I always just like tell people and then I think, like it's okay. Being okay with the mess is important. Being okay with things being messy and not working out and failing at certain things, like all of that is so important. So you know, I think like a lot of people just are so used to perfection and I was like trying to stay away from that. So I'm really glad that you like the mission and what it's about and you see it, you get the vibe, because at first people are like 30 grind, like what? What kind of name is that?
Speaker 1:but I love it. I totally love it because it's aligned to what you say like. It's truly aligned to what you value and where your true values like encompassed inside come out yeah and that's why it's like nope, this is really the natalie I I knew was capable of coming out and she needed to come out in her own way oh I was.
Speaker 2:I would sit on my bed and cry or tell my husband like I don't feel like me, like something's wrong with me. I don't, I don't, I don't feel like me, am I ever? And then you feel hopelessness and you're like am I ever gonna be that person again?
Speaker 1:maybe I'm just not that right maybe it was a timing thing, or maybe it was temporary in a phase, right, man I?
Speaker 2:just I didn't feel like myself for so long that it was I hard for me to even see a future of like this, where I'm at now and feeling more centered and balanced than I ever have, and so you know, it really does take doing the work and like making sure your plate is full, but not too full. Um, that's something that I've learned too. It's like I have a natural habit of like oh, my plate looks nice, look at these opportunities.
Speaker 1:I want to add a little bit, I fit on right my leg dip into no.
Speaker 2:Now I'm like can like, is everything on my plate fulfilled? Is it good? Is it getting enough attention? Balanced? Is it balanced?
Speaker 2:And then, now and then, I'll start to add little things here and there, and being okay with missing out on opportunities is another thing. Like saying no and people are like I want to do this, I want to collab, I want to, and like before I was like yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, over my head, you know not. And now it's like important to just like pick and choose and be like no, like that's not good for me. I need like I need to focus on this and not jumping around Like it's. I think like all around this program has helped me, just like recenter and prioritize like all of those things. It's just like really important for me to keep that balance, you know for sure, sure, like in my life, because as much as I want to be really successful, I want to be really well rounded and balanced and a good, like you know, level-headed human being, because you see, you see people that lose their shit right, like you don't see people that are like I've done it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like do you be?
Speaker 2:really successful and they are mad. They're just so far offshore that I'm like, wow, I don't want to be like that. Like you know, they're trying, they're spreading themselves way too thin, their family is suffering, their relationships are, those are things, and it's kind of like what you don't want, you know, and so, and then, when you leave.
Speaker 1:You're still replaced so quickly. It's just like, wow, how yeah? For sure, for sure so, thinking of that, I know there's going to be a lot of people that are inspired with hearing your story today.
Speaker 2:Where can I got so dark it's like the sun changed in this room. Plug that in my back it's going to start off like really light and then it's going to like we went this room, plug that in my back.
Speaker 2:It's gonna start off like really light and then it's gonna like we went over like a lot the way we said before we did so I know, but I feel like we were all over the place like I'm sorry if it's people are gonna be like I don't even know her story I'd be surprised, because a lot of people have been telling me that they want, they want more, they want to hear more.
Speaker 1:So you know what? Those who wanted to hear more.
Speaker 2:Here's your more yes, here's your more, and I'm sorry that it wasn't structured we'll have time stamps. They can find it like I answered some of your questions, but I probably went off on it like a while here.
Speaker 1:They actually answered all the questions except this one, because now it needs to be. If we're not interested in the actual experience for 30 grind, or they're excited about how they can attend the host events that might be hosted or different things, where can they find out more information?
Speaker 2:so, uh, what do you mean? So 30 grind is, um, it's a coffee shop that is located in the elan um shopping center, and so we are a coffee bar. And I say coffee bar more than a coffee shop, because we do the barista, the bar experience, versus like the typical indie kind of like grungy vibe of coffee. We're definitely new, we're the outliers because you know the way that we do things is completely different. So whenever you come to 30 grind, I want you to pay attention to those things, um and like, feel bougie and feel really like definitely, and like a fancy experience.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like you're enjoying, like you don't have to drink alcohol to feel like you're having, like, a nice cocktail, like we will serve you that in your glass and you will feel like you're having a good meeting with your friend. And no alcohol, it's all coffee or matcha. And then we promote a lot like people having meetings there, people having having, you know, interviews. We have people who do interviews, which is really cool. Some study we have some studying going on but a lot of people I've noticed really love to meet and feel like you know the fruits of labor and like you know they like to be in that environment and just feel really nice and have quality coffee, quality environment, you know's, just a quality experience overall. So that's, I'm really proud of what we've created. Um, and so, yeah, like we have, we're starting to get into private events, because I designed the space for it to be very friendly for like people who want to have events, but also for like, uh, like for parties, or for like people who want to have events, but also for like, like for parties or for like if you're doing like a, like a talk thing, like a, I can't think of my thoughts but yeah, like a meeting or a presentation, a baby shower, I mean anything.
Speaker 2:We are nestled in like a community, so the place is very loungy and it's very living roomy because we are in a community, so I won't you know. So it really does suit any vibe you're going for. Like I didn't go really gimmicky with things, even though I wanted to, so bad like cause that's what sells, you know, like the salesperson in me was like everything needs to be gimmicky, every I need to bring all the Instagrammers, but no, I had to, had to go. Like I had to like bring it back a little bit, and so whenever you do, it's very like it's a clean slate. I feel like it's a very classy slate for you. So if you want to do a business event there or a party or anything like that, this is a perfect place because you'll be able to feel, you know, like the vibe that you that matches your energy of you know, whatever you doing.
Speaker 1:So I like how you frame it? That it's not Instagrammy. It's like, no, that's exactly where I'm going to go take all my Instagram pictures.
Speaker 2:I mean it is I have to like I'm a business woman, I got to make it some sort of business, you know like there's some naturally glam.
Speaker 1:I don't even think you try to be, but it's just naturally already. So it's. It was with the territory.
Speaker 2:I want to be low-key, like I really. I have a low-key latte because it's it's like an oh, it's like something that I try to be low-key I really do, but it just it doesn't like, it just doesn't work. I always have to add something and be extra, it's just.
Speaker 1:I thought it was hilarious. It was like I feel like the moment that we step foot in here we're gonna go broke, but it's cheaper than Starbucks and it tastes.
Speaker 2:So she was quality. One of my slogans is like the quality you deserve. Like that is key for us. Like our, our, our coffee is really good. It's specialty coffee and we also were. I always say we're a flavorful twist of specialty coffee because we went with quality right, but we also fused it with flavor. So, like all your traditional lattes that you typically really like, like we fused it with like flavors that are really good versus being like just like a regular coffee shop. That's like all about the notes and the beans and they're like nerdy and geeking out and you're like I just want some, just want a latte yeah, definitely the flavors and approaches yeah, so I try to be like in the middle that I can involve.
Speaker 2:I enjoyed that I really did, but you won't go broke, I promise I keep my prices like very oh no, it was great. I was like really okay, cool, it's like you feel like you're gonna go broke and that's like you know that's a good thing, that's a really good thing. You feel like you're gonna go broke and that's like you know that's a good thing, that's a really that's a good thing. You're like okay, you feel a little boochy. No, it's great, I'm excited.
Speaker 1:I'm glad that you guys liked it we did, we did, we will definitely so much you have to try the different, the different drinks next time, because I know you stick to this. I'm gonna keep going with the same one. You already know I repeat the same thing, but the kids can try the other stuff.
Speaker 2:I'm going to challenge you and serve you something different.
Speaker 1:I can see that. I can see that I'd be like, okay, I'm having yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm just going to do what I normally do with people that I know. Here's the one I chose for you Okay.
Speaker 1:I'm like no, I'll get you this one and they're like, I loved it. You know, I could see that because you will know. But, natalie, thank you so much for joining us today.
Speaker 2:Thank you. I'm so excited. I have been trying to bug you for this for like a year now, so thank you for finally coming on. I mean, I could talk forever with you.
Speaker 1:I think we can both go on forever, so it's great. But this journey in general I have appreciated because it's definitely a testament to like the power of being resilient, sticking and committing to the change but making sure that you have a community of support. Yeah, thank you for sharing that with other women and for being so inspiring, especially to myself and for other people, and for letting me support you through this journey, because I have definitely dealt with my own imposter syndrome mindset through the process and had to question different things, but clients like yourself have made it to where it's like no, honestly, like that's the whole point. I need someone to tell me how it is. They needed someone. Let's keep going and I appreciate you more than you know. So thank you so much.
Speaker 2:I appreciate you and I think that the best part about you is that you're so vulnerable and you're you're not like saying you're perfect. I mean, a lot of life coaches are like I got it all figured out, like you know I, and tell me what your problems are, I'm gonna give you a solution, and it's just so cliche and so not, it's not. And so what? You're very genuine and I love that about you and I think that when two people grow together, that's when you know the most impact is. You know like that's when you get the best and the meat and potatoes of just like like growing with someone versus like you know you're just feeling like you're talking to a wall and someone who has it all figured out, and it's just not very fun. A and then also B. It's just like you're not inspiring. You're just like you're not. I feel like by helping you, it helped me, because I'm like, oh shit, I better take my own advice. You know I better like.
Speaker 2:There was times like that where I'm like giving you advice and I'm like I need to take my own advice first of all and I think it's the same thing for you, like I would remind you of stuff I'd be like no, well, you always tell me this and you're like you know what. You're right, I do tell you that. And so, like that's the beauty of a relationship like this, and just like your style of coaching, it's like really, really interactive and I love it. I recommend it a hundred percent to anybody. And I was a mess. Appreciate this like laughing joke, like I promise you I was crying every day. A mess like this program has 100% helped me just be more level-headed and strong-minded and control my narrative.
Speaker 1:I appreciate that you say that, because the funny thing is, I recommend it to everybody. I'm only going to recommend it to the females that are badass enough to actually be ready to put in the work that's where I'm gonna be ready people that are will guys too, so just individuals that are willing to put in the work and I mean we've, we've seen that with the different people, that and be vulnerable.
Speaker 2:Like, be honest and vulnerable. Yes, yes, be honest and vulnerable. That's what I tell people. And like if you go to her, she's gonna be real with you and she's gonna check you and you better be ready for that you know, um I remember how people usually try to rate themselves a lot higher on the wheel of life at first.
Speaker 1:I'm like, so if everything's great, why are you here? Like what?
Speaker 2:do you need exactly? No, I'm like zero. I want to learn what do you got? And that was. I think that was the fun part, like she's going to learn.
Speaker 1:What do you got? And that was I think that was the fun part Like she's willing to learn, let's, let's go push it. But then it would push me to go be better, because it's like she's not satisfied and she looks like that and, okay, like she's killing it, but I know she doesn't think she is. So I need to go fix my stuff and it just naturally lights a fire under your butt when you're around other people that are constantly working their booties off. So I think that's kind of a testament to like Femme City structure, innovations and really what you've evolved with with 30 Grind now and your people and everything, because even your staff, like I, don't have to wait. It's expected that it's going to be a certain way, a certain experience, and you can feel it in the environment when you walk in that everyone's on that same level. So I appreciate that.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Speaker 2:But as we try to, spread it as much as possible, like mental health is so important to me, and so I want to thank you too. You know this is this. This has opened my eyes to a whole nother level of control in a good way, Not like a bad control, but in good control, like where I'm, like I do feel more in control of my life and where my mind goes and just my happiness and like, just like I said, controlling my narrative, and I hate to beat a dead horse, but that's, that's exactly what this program has done, what you've done for me, and even though you don't feel like it, even though you think you know you didn't, I don't know that I didn't need the help. I don't even know what, whatever you were saying in the beginning.
Speaker 1:That's pretty much what I tell myself. I was like she didn't need the help, but okay.
Speaker 2:Like a hundred. I just I needed it so bad and in my own way and I've now I'm like I just feel so empowered to help other people that are in my shoes. But I always tread carefully Cause you know people have to be ready for that journey.
Speaker 1:Like you can't just be yeah, you can't just be preaching stuff to people.
Speaker 2:They're like calm down, be quiet. Yeah, for the most part, anybody who's open to to just learning about, like how I got out of a rut. I'm like I will sit down with you and talk to you forever about how, like what, I got out of a rut. I'm like I will sit down with you and talk to you forever about how, like what I did you know, like mind control.
Speaker 1:I call it mind control even though it sounds crazy, but I do, I think it's just more a testament to like when we have the unpredictable natures of life being thrown at us. We have to really realize our potential when we can adapt and lean on those people that are there for support. So that's really what comes down to like. Your story is more you had to face uncertainty, you had to face paths, that you had to create new spaces to be able to inspire yourself and inspire others and uplift throughout all the crap you were going through. I had to figure out a way to do that for you as well, so I didn't like deflate you, as I was supposed to be coaching.
Speaker 1:It was like how do I do that? Yeah, I don't know what we're going through, so honestly, like holding me accountable inspiration. But that's inspiring because you still got off your ass and did it, rather than just threw in the towel when a lot of people would. So I will say, say like it's that doing it put in the work.
Speaker 2:That's like the message Whoever is watching this like keep doing it. Put in the work, because it will change. At first it feels weird. You're like how am I doing this? Like I'm just like I'd rather choose to be depressed or I'd rather choose to be sad today, like I'm just sad. And then you identify with that emotion.
Speaker 2:I tell my husband that all the time too, cause he'll be like I think I'm depressed or I think I'm this or I'm that. Like I'll have moments like that. And I'm like do not identify with something that you're not sure. Like if you just sit there and identify like I'm sick, you're guess what? All day long you're going to be like I'm sick, I'm, I'm getting sick. The power of those words and the power of those words are so important, and so I think and so now he practices the same thing He'll be like I'm feeling, he'll tread lightly and be like I'm feeling a certain way, you know, and I'm like yes, like, let's talk about that, let's unpack it, because unpacking is super important to you. Know where you're? Like I have anxiety and you don't know why, because you have all of this cloud of things that you can possibly think about that, are going to stress you out and you're just like I'm going to think about everything.
Speaker 1:And that's why you have to remember that emotions are, technically, your body's physiological response to the stories we're telling ourselves.
Speaker 2:I know when.
Speaker 1:I ask you guys, like what are the three emotions you feel? This week People will start feeling guilty and kind of downplay their emotions. So that's always important and that's where I teach you guys, like, don't say I am rather than I'm feeling, or I got triggered or this made me feel uncomfortable because of xyz. And if we can find the trigger, we can find the root cause, we can substitute it, adjust it, move it out of the way. Like, but we can't.
Speaker 2:If you identify, you use the right word, like basically say if we identify and give that to us and say I am sad rather than feeling sad and I need to figure out why, then we kind of frame it that we're a sad person rather than right yeah, like I have anxiety and it's like, well, you just have a bunch of ideas and things in the air and you don't know, and it's like now you're labeling it anxiety, or is it that you just need to let all of the drama go and the stress that you're thinking about and focus on what am I going to eat right now? Like, what am I going to do Right? And like, in this second, what's right in front of me? And I feel like that's helped me changing the subject. I mean, like I'm not going to think about that, like you know what I do have all those problems that I need to figure out, but right now I'm going to worry about, you know, what we're going to eat for dinner as a family, like that's what I'm going to focus on. I feel like that has helped me. Just changing the subject is really important to me and not giving it attention, like even though you feel like I need to focus on all my problems or else they're not going to get fixed, like that's such a lie and I feel so bad.
Speaker 1:But else, at the same time, I knew it's what you needed to hear, when I was like, okay, so you might have MS, you're not wrong. And I remember saying it like so, what are you going to do? Just stop showing up. And you looked at me like how dare you? And I was like, well, that's nice. So if you have MS and you're just beautiful and you have all this shit going for you, keep pushing and that. And that's when you were like, okay, fine, I'll do savers. And as you started focusing on motivation and savers and that process, like let me go do something else, it shifted that mindset. So I think that's important to share with other people that are out there that feel stuck, and take that inspiration into the week that they can seek ways to find support and empower themselves. But they really have to focus on what they need, not what everybody else needs. Yeah, and a support system like that can make it possible.
Speaker 2:So it's important. You're right, it's a that did help me snap out of it, cause it is hard when you do have like people that are like, well, you might have this and there's no answer and that book you guys need to read it. It's so good. It really talks about not determining, like when your happiness starts. Like you don't say like, oh, I'm going to be happy when I get good trust results, or I'm going to be happy when I have money in the bank, I'm going to be happy with this or that. Like you really just decide, no, I'm going to be happy today, today is you know? Like I'm going to control, like how I, how I go through today and not worry about what's going to happen in three weeks. And so that helped me a hundred percent.
Speaker 2:Like you said, like you can't stop showing up for yourself. And you're right, I had to, because if not, I could have spent that three months, I mean, just in bed, depressed, not doing anything. And and look what happened at the end of three months. They were like oh, that's a medical mystery, you know.
Speaker 2:So we don't really know what happened to you and and you know, yeah, so we don't really know what happened to you and and I I forgot I left this part out, but it's super important. I after that, I didn't. I wasn't filled with relief, I was filled with, I was filled with anger because I was mad at myself. I was like I spent all this time worrying, and I didn't worry to the crazy extent because I did do the savers and all that stuff.
Speaker 1:But I still definitely still were worried about it and talking about it pretty much 100%, I still was letting it overwhelm me in my life.
Speaker 2:You know, like I was managing it like to where people didn't really notice that much, but like it was still a time around, and then I spent six more months of like oh, now I'm mad at myself, I wasted all this time and like that's another thing that you can't, that you can't do, right, you just can't. Like my cousin, she's waiting test results right now and I'm like giving her my advice. I'm like please, like, don't waste your time on the what ifs, because you don't know like it's. It's just like live your life Like for today, think of all the good things and live in bliss, and then you know, live in bliss, like that.
Speaker 2:Then it's going to be time to when it's time to worry. It'll happen and you'll worry and you'll, by then, you'll be more level-headed surprisingly and be like okay, well, I'm ready to tackle this. Like, however, I need to tackle it. But like I think that's my biggest advice and that I wish I didn't spend so much time worrying about results and and I'm not allowing myself to be happy like until I got results or until I had a perfect bill of health, like I, I feel like I I regret that, and I, you know, always give advice to people when they are waiting for test results or something like that. I'm always like, please, like, don't do that to yourself, cause it was the worst.
Speaker 1:I do appreciate that you were open-minded and listened to what I had to say when I told you, I don't want you living through the experience twice and you were like and I was like you're going to live through it twice and you're like what do you mean? I was like cause whatever's going to happen is going to fricking happen.
Speaker 1:And you're going to have to deal with it, whether you like it or not, natalie, you're worrying is not going to change a damn thing. However, in the meantime, as you worry, you're going to put yourself through the angst and you're going to feel the anxiety and you're going to feel all the emotional trauma of something that may or may not even be true. Yeah, and then I told you and let's say, you do have MS.
Speaker 1:So we're going to have to go through it later and I will be there for you and I will support you. You're gonna stop showing up, no, so let's start fixing it now. And you listened and you knew I still need to show up for Emmanuel, I still need to show up for my son. I still need to keep doing these type of things. So, this being said, she's not wrong. I'm gonna keep doing it. And you showed up and, slowly but surely, you started showing up for yourself again instead of just for everybody else, and I think that's what finally came out, and I'm just so freaking proud of you, like beyond proud of you.
Speaker 2:Well, I needed you, you know, I needed you because when, when, when you're going through something like that, the people around you, they love you and they only have the best interest for you, you know, but they're but they're naturally going to be comforting. They're not going to be that shoulder, that person on your shoulder, like saying exactly what you just said, like they're not going to do that. Some people might, they might have that. You know, I'm not going to speak for everybody, but in my situation it was just very like like we love you, we support you, it's going to be okay, it's going to be okay, it's going to be okay. You know, it's just like's just not enough. You need to hear it from someone else. You need someone else to check you and shake you and be like you know, this is this, is not it like, this is not it for you, it's not a good look.
Speaker 1:So like that we're not liking this vibe. It's just not all that pretty. Yeah, I appreciate and I think that's what structuring chaotic minds is all about, so I really just want to share with everybody in the audience. Thank you so, so much for tuning in to Structuring Chaotic Minds and remember to stay connected, stay inspired and, above all, continue structuring those chaotic minds with the beautiful realities that they are meant to be. We'll see you next episode.
Speaker 2:I love that Bye.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for joining me for today's episode. To catch up on the rest of the season, visit structuringchaoticmindscom or take a quick browse on your current app to see which episodes resonate with you. If you struggle with your own mental wellness or even just balancing life, we have a team of individuals at our site who can help. You can visit structuringinnovationscom and find a coach or mentor fit for you. Thank you for joining me once again, Melissa Franklin, on this episode of Structuring Chaotic Minds. Stay structured and smiling.