Structuring Chaotic Minds

Resilient Journeys from Military Service to Youth Advocacy

• Timothy Mabry • Season 2 • Episode 6

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Bridging the generational divide and battling personal demons, Timothy Mabry, our Gen Z Whisperer, shares his story of transformation from a Navy serviceman grappling with PTSD and ADHD to a beacon of hope for today's youth. The challenges of mental health are laid bare as we chart Timothy's journey—a harrowing brush with tragedy that became the catalyst for his mission to mentor others. His resilience and strategies for overcoming obstacles provide a roadmap for anyone navigating the rocky terrain of mental wellness.

Within the heart of this episode, we peel back the layers on how generational perspectives shape our approach to business and life. My own upbringing, caught between the values of boomers and the dynamism of Gen Z, serves as a backdrop for a candid discussion on connecting across ages in the workplace. Moreover, we touch on the personal struggles and triumphs of balancing entrepreneurship with family life, offering insights that resonate with working parents striving for harmony amidst chaos.

We wrap up with a toolkit for thriving with ADHD and PTSD, emphasizing the impact of lifestyle choices on mental health. Timothy and I dissect the hidden influences of dietary habits, illustrate the therapeutic potential of morning routines, and illustrate how visualization can steer us toward success. For those seeking to reframe their narratives and harness the power of personal transformation, Timothy's insights provide both inspiration and practical advice. His contact details, for those who want to reach out, are nestled in the episode notes, ready to unlock new possibilities for growth and healing.


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Melissa Franklin:

Welcome back to Structuring Chaotic Minds, where we dive deep into the balance of mental wellness and balancing whirlwinds of life. I'm your host, melissa Franklin. I'm committed to debunking those myths and bringing real, actionable insights to how we can balance our mental health and our personal growth. Today, we have a very special guest. His name is Timothy Mavry, but we more affectionately like to refer to him as our Gen Z Whisperer. Timothy is not only a retired veteran and a motivational coach, but he's also a dedicated father and a husband who has navigated his own complex journey with PTSD and ADHD. He's here to share some unique and perspective insights on how mentoring our Gen Z and how his experiences have shaped life as well as leadership. Timothy, thank you so much for joining us today.

Timothy Mabry:

Well, thank you for having me, Melissa, and having me on the Structure Innovations podcast. I am truly honored to be here.

Melissa Franklin:

We are excited to have you here, not only for the Gen Z part, but just more in general. I'm excited to have another motivational coach and individual that I can collaborate with, timothy, because our audience doesn't quite know you. Can you tell us about your journey from the Navy into becoming a motivational coach? Because very different, both inspiring and unique. But can you tell us what sparked that transition and give us a little bit more background about yourself?

Timothy Mabry:

Yeah, when I was younger I wanted to go into the fire department. So as in I was in the uh fire school or I was in fire class as well as in high school, and then I was like I wanted to get into a bigger fire department. I realized that, if I realized that if you're going to get on with a big department, military points will make or break you. So I started to look at different branches and I landed upon the Navy. That going into the Navy I could still be a fireman and I get a vast experience and I get to travel. Every branch tells you you join us, you're going to get to see the world. That's not entirely true. The Air Force you're going to see it from the sky or you're just going to be stuck on base. The Army and Marines you're either going to be stuck in base or you're going to go to some other foreign country fighting a war on the ground.

Melissa Franklin:

That's how you're going to see the world. That's how you're going to see the world.

Timothy Mabry:

Navy. You get to go on a cruise. It's a work cruise, but you get three hots, a bed, not a cot. You're on your own little bed and you're out in the middle of the ocean. You get to go to all these fun little countries and have a good time. So I decided you know what I'm going to do the Navy and I still get to do what I want, get some experience in and go from there.

Timothy Mabry:

And I was in the Navy for less than two years because I ended up speaking out against a situation that was happening to me. I'm not going to go into too much detail with it, but I ended up going through something pretty horrific. The guy actually broke several laws doing what he was doing and it put me in a bad mental state. It put me in such a bad mental state that I got depressed and anxious. I was jumpy there's really bad terms for what I was but I was just extremely jumpy around individuals, slightest sounds of yelling. I was just pushed down into the brink of. I didn't want to be here and I ended up speaking up about it because I had a mental break. I told someone comments I shouldn't have. It was just. Basically, it's people like you who make you want to hurt myself.

Timothy Mabry:

And because of that, I got out of the Navy and then went to the fire department. I went to the fire department, I went to the fire department. I spent 10 years there working my way up to being a lieutenant and was on path to be battalion chief in the next couple of years and then, once again, all the trauma that I had from the Navy and just life in the fire department came back to the point where I went through an identity crisis. I didn't know who I was, what I wanted to be. I was just nah, I don't want to be here. So two years ago this month, I almost took my own life. I don't remember the date, I just remember it was May of 22.

Timothy Mabry:

And it was out of that journey I was like I want to find out who I really am, what I really want to do, and I started to find out on my journey last year that I have a lot to offer people. I love to speak, I love to help people and I don't want individuals to be in the same place that I once was. And that's what pushed me on the path of being a motivational speaker, because I would just have conversations like this in public or just with friends and their minds were blown with my expertise or my experience. Like, dude, really you should write a book about that. I've been told that so many times, like with different subjects. Like, dude, you should write a book. Like, really, I write a book. A year ago I would have.

Timothy Mabry:

I was laughing at people like, oh yeah, you're going to write a book. I'm like, no, I'm not Kick rocks, I'm never going to write a book. Right now I'm working on four different books. I have four titles for a book that I'm writing on my own and there's another one that's going to be published for about helping small business maximize profits that I've assisted with. But I can say now I'm actually writing, I'm now putting my stories on paper and out there to help others. A little bit of a long-winded answer.

Melissa Franklin:

No, I love that. I want to frame and highlight that. Thank you for sharing that. Two years ago you almost gave up and were lucky enough to say that you didn't take that step and you're still here. I truly like to highlight that part with other people, not because, oh my God, they were weak, they almost hurt themselves. That's not the point. The biggest point is that there are some of us who don't realize how many other people have made that decision at one point or another, that they've been stuck in the middle. And there are so many of us that, while I've never actually attempted to do anything, I would have thoughts for the longest at one point, especially being bipolar and going through manic states to where, like, hmm, you know, if I wasn't around, life would probably be better with everybody. That's definitely how it started and eventually evolved. But I'll be very transparent. I want to say it was about a year ago now. Yeah, give or take about a year ago now.

Melissa Franklin:

So it's crazy that you highlight that, because March of last year I was going blind, partially blind, because of high blood pressure, and I couldn't read a screen anymore. And I couldn't. I was like what is going on? I am smart, I can do this stuff. And the stress had just become so much and because I'm bipolar and I already put so much stress on my family and so much extra, I just thought you know what I just keep hearing from everybody else. But you can handle it, you can do it.

Melissa Franklin:

And I was so done that I ended up looking into the bathtub and I pictured myself in there that I had harmed myself and I could see a pool of blood and I was gone at least what I was viewing. And the scariest part for me is, as I stood there and I saw myself, I felt a sense of peace. I screamed so loud help because I knew, oh shit, I'm actually like at peace with the idea instead of scared of it. And now I realized that's the moment I need to ask for help right now, because who knows what I'm going to do? Being bipolar, we are so impulsive I might do something really stupid.

Melissa Franklin:

So I appreciate you sharing that so other people know that they're not alone, because it is not something that people never experience. A lot of people will experience this at one point or another in their lives. Some people can never imagine anybody else ever experiencing that. So I appreciate you sharing that? I really do, because I know it takes a lot to be honest about that and be vulnerable about that, but at the same time, um, just to put that, just to put that honesty out, there can be a lot. So thinking about that. Um, what got you to wanting to go motivate the actual gen z generation instead, then?

Timothy Mabry:

well, I was going to a lot of different networking events as I was starting my own business and speaking, I kept hearing a common phrase Gen Z is completely lazy, they're worthless and they're the worst generation ever. And I kept hearing this in different states, in different places. The first time this really was brought to my attention was at an event in Scottsdale, arizona. I was talking with a business owner. He's like we pay, pay great, we have good benefits, but this entire generation just doesn't want to work for us. I'm like no, that doesn't sound right. I've worked with gen zers, and I mean worked with. I led them as being a fire officer, I had gen zers who were straight off out of school, straight off the academy as well, and they are hard workers. You just have to sit down and talk with them on a personal level and to really get their motivation and their drive. And I told them it doesn't sound like you have a good training program. Like do you do any type of coaching? He's like yeah, we do, we're great. Well, we have an amazing management and leadership team. It's like okay, I can tell you you don't, because if you can't keep people for more than a few weeks, there's a problem. He didn't like that answer, but that was the first time that I heard that. And then I just kept going to event after event after event and it was the same thing. Then, event after event, and it was the same thing.

Timothy Mabry:

Then what really hit the nail on the coffin was I was at a networking event up in Austin for all business owners business owners and executives that's what this event was and I was stuck at a table. Well, I was at a table of six to seven other individuals and they were all saying how they didn't understand Gen Z. They were saying the exact same thing. And once again, I gave my strategies and what has worked for me in the past and what I've seen and they were like dude, you get it, you're like the Gen Z whisperer, you're like the dog whisperer, but for Gen Z, and like that's kind of offensive. But okay, that's where it came from, that's where it came from. And I took that and I just chuckled at it.

Timothy Mabry:

That was a Thursday night, friday morning. I'm a part of another networking group throughout the country and I was like, hey, someone called me the Gen Z whisperer, what do you think about that? And 10 people immediately chimed in Like they were what do you think about that? And 10 people immediately chimed in. They were talking over each other and they were like that's marketing gold, tim. Do you know how many people take that? And they try to do it themselves, or they're looking for a nickname. It doesn't hit. They're like that right, there is something amazing. Does that domain exist? Is that available? Yeah, it is. I delayed because I wanted just gen z whisperercom. But from friday to monday I'm pretty sure someone that group bought that, that title or bought the domain, but they didn't buy the like the sounds better, because I am the Gen Z whisper. You can be a Gen Z whisper, but I'm the like, okay, that sounds better so I love it in your it just happens to be an accident well, I mean in your experience with those with the Gen Z.

Melissa Franklin:

What's the key difference in coaching that generation compared to others, like how do you connect with them so effectively as opposed to other generations?

Timothy Mabry:

being a millennial. Fortunately, I got to ride the line of gen z and being a millennial, and with the, with x's. So my fam, my parents, are boomers, so they're the older generation. And, being a millennial, I was raised with technology but under boomer parents, so in essence, I'm almost like a Gen Xer mentality. It's really weird when you think about it. Yes, my age is millennial, so I have millennial tendencies, but I was raised more like Gen X style. It's weird how it is. But when I go to Gen Z, I just talk with them. I understand where they're coming from because I'm guilty. I'm just as easily manipulated with the phone. I can be on the phone like oh hey, chad GBT, hey, ai technology, let's go figure this out.

Melissa Franklin:

It's like a different time, but you had the same experience in a different way, so you're able to connect with them.

Timothy Mabry:

Yes, and I've always been able to talk with older people and younger. Even in elementary school, I was talking with individuals in their 70s and 80s. I related to them Well because your parents are older, so that makes sense.

Melissa Franklin:

So with you having all those older people conversations, you were able to connect with the people of your generation and be like dude. They just want it like this. That's funny because I feel like that's what Alyssa does and she partners with so many different business owners that are in their 50s, 60s, 70s. I'm like good job. I don't know how you talk to them and I think about it. I always talk to older people, so she's used to being around older people my friends are.

Melissa Franklin:

Most of my friends are not even my age. Most of my friends were older than me. I have a few friends that are about my age and those are like my close peeps, like I leave them there. But most of my friends and mentors are older than me because my mind is constantly on things that it's not the same generation, I can't relate with it, but that carried over into Lissa. So she connects with them and then it's funny when she talks to her friends, she words it in a way that, like I already said it like eight times why aren't they listening? And then she just rewords it in a different way and everybody's on board. I'm like I don't get it.

Timothy Mabry:

I don't get it, so it's like the same thing with you.

Melissa Franklin:

You guys are going back and forth and connecting with a different generation, and that's really unique and cool. I love that. Balancing personal and professional life is definitely a journey and a balance for all of us, especially if they're an audience or somebody listening to this podcast as a dad and a husband trying to build a business and having this career. How the heck do you manage all those roles and what advice would you give to our listeners who are in a similar boat?

Timothy Mabry:

I'm still trying to figure out some of that. Yeah, Having a three month old. My son's now three months and my daughter's not even two.

Timothy Mabry:

It's so adorable, it's fun, but I will truthfully find myself distracted or helping my wife with things, cause I work from the home. I work from home and there are some days when I'm in the middle of a project and my wife's like help and I can just hear both kids screaming. They've been screaming for a while and she comes in just like I need some help. Kisses, I need something. I just she calls it the, uh, the chili, like 15 minutes, like from bluey, I need my chili 15 minutes. All the parents with little kids will understand that one.

Melissa Franklin:

No, I love that, and I think I mean I'm pretty sure our older audience is like wait what? So he stays home and she gets help. Our younger audience is probably like wait a minute, so he has to work and then he has to help too, like cool, cool in between. But I'm just hearing like there's a life balance and you guys make your situation work for y'all. That's really. What I'm hearing is more like picking and utilizing or prioritizing what you all need to prioritize and that's freaking awesome, like just the fact that you can be there for your wife and provide that sort of support, as opposed to like sorry, honey, I'm on my own. Most men they work from an office, so they wouldn't be able to jump in and be able to do that. So that's, that's ridiculously cool. You're gonna make some spouses mad on here, so good job though, but I appreciate that.

Melissa Franklin:

So, thinking about mental health, let's switch the topic and then go over to mental health. Um, especially with ADHD part, I'm ADHD too. Ptsd is different, like the whole trauma thing. I had my trauma, which is, but I was born like with these types of things, and it evolved as I got older. We saw it around 10 ish, where I just wasn't going to sleep and that overactive mind and it just it stayed like that. I remember getting in trouble all the time Cause I was still up at three o'clock in the morning. They're like go to sleep, I can't, and it carries over now as an adult, but can you share what you had to navigate with these type of challenges, with ADHD and PTSD, and what are some of the misconceptions that you've actually encountered as well?

Timothy Mabry:

encountered as well. That's a rough subject, because I got diagnosed with adhd when I was in like I was a kid when I mean a kid I got expelled out of kindergarten like flat out. I was put in a behavior.

Timothy Mabry:

I can only imagine my parents put my brother and I in this private school. It was a strict, private Christian private school to where you had to just do assignments before you can go out to recess and one of the assignments was on the front side of the paper was coloring and on the backside was cursive. You had to write in cursive in kindergarten and I didn't want to do that. I was like hell, no, I want to go out and play or I want to color. So they were like you have to be able to finish your assignment before you can go out to recess. That's the worst thing you can do.

Timothy Mabry:

Adhd is like being hyped up on caffeine 24 fricking seven, until you crash. And it was like out of nowhere, like energize my body. I can just keep going Like what's going on. And as a child, already hyperactive as every kid is, it was worse. So with them I can't go out to recess and get my out. I wouldn't sleep Cause I was wired to the nine. So in nap time I was harassing people. I was running around like a wild child, like I don't know what that means, but I love it. If you get the reference, we can be friends.

Timothy Mabry:

But that was me and because of that I got expelled out of kindergarten, which pushed my parents to figure out what's wrong with Timothy, why isn't he like his brother Ben? Well, they found out I have ADHD, which means I have attention deficit, hyperactive disorder, and I got chastised and I got put in the really weird corners because of that. Like, oh, you're on medication, oh, you have ADHD, ew, you're a problem. But the medication just controlled me and I was told it's your fault, you're a problem, it doesn't have to do with your diet, it doesn't have to do with us, it's you. You have to figure it out, you have to fix it. And I'm like you have to figure it out, you have to fix it. I'm like fix what? How do I fix this? Shut up, here's a pill. Okay, all the pill did was just suppress my real personality. So, seven in the morning to five o'clock in the evening, there was medication controlling me. So in the evenings and weekends, when the medication wore off, I went on discovery every weekend of who am I? What is this? What are these feelings? How do I process this? So I was socially underdeveloped for years.

Timothy Mabry:

I was seeking attention. I kept getting rejected. People didn't want to be around me, so I dealt with a lot of rejection and then, as an adult, it was similar oh, you have to go by certain rules, you have to do certain behaviors and if you don't, well guess what? You're not a functioning member of society. And that didn't work out for me in high school, because I'm extremely intelligent and if you tell me something I can probably repeat it back to you. You give me a test. I can almost ace that test with just listening, doing no homework.

Timothy Mabry:

So I was failing high school because I didn't want to do my homework. I said screw this, I don't want to be in class for eight hours a day, still have homework and extracurriculars on top of this. I'm not doing that. I'd piss off my teachers because I would know what I was doing, but I wouldn't do the homework, so I was failing. So I ended up having to go to a special program in San Antonio called the Excel program, where I just did my senior year online. And I don't fit within boxes. And that's the other thing Most people who have ADHD. They don't conform and fit into boxes. They're more of divergent personalities. They're free fingers, they're anxious, but they're also very analytical, to be a little bit cold too.

Melissa Franklin:

I like to say we're just straightforward, but I get in trouble for that. I think you and I have had this debate before, cause it was like it must've been nice to have the medication and then you pointed out you're like no cause, it was just the pacifier. But I kind of wish I had the pacifier. And I'll be honest, cause as a kid, the same thing you're saying oh well, I want to go outside, true, but I was undiagnosed ADHD and undiagnosed bipolar my whole life and I was an ace student, like straight a student. Well, once we got past the dyslexia thing because I couldn't read past second grade, whatever, fine. Once we got past the dyslexia thing, it was like cool, get your stuff.

Melissa Franklin:

And for some reason I was always fidgeting and doing stuff, but it wasn't allowed in order to be a good girl, in order to be a good student. Nope, and ours was. You didn't listen to the teacher and they got mad at you. Oh, we're not gonna go to the corner and have a thinking spot, and I always thought that was that's nice. I want a thinking spot or I want a timeout? Nope, we get whooped with the bell, we get in trouble.

Melissa Franklin:

It was like you were told to do something. Why aren't you doing it? So I think that's funny because I honestly feel like, culturally, the idea is give you a pill, shut you up. In another culture, the idea is more nope, pow, pow, pow, you're gonna shut up. And it's so funny because, technically, at the end of the day, none of them is still good or better than the other one.

Melissa Franklin:

Hold one second. I need to put in my charger. Give me just one second. I had it, but I guess I didn't, and I don't need this to do the same thing I did last time, alissa. I had it, but I guess I didn't, and I don't need this to do the same thing it did last time. Alyssa, sorry about that, thank you. Okay, sorry, my bad. So, looking forward, what are some of aspirations, both personally and professionally, that you actually have and advice that you would be giving to pass along to those parents of our Gen Z kids that might be listening and kind of missed out on the part, like they just heard an argument, like me saying I wish I was medicated and you're like I don't. Either way, regardless, I feel like, in my opinion, the one thing I would say is get informed and do what's best for your kid and listen to what they're saying, rather than what everybody else is. What about you? What advice would you end up giving?

Timothy Mabry:

Well, for individuals with mental disorders or struggles I'm not going to say disorders, but struggles truly evaluate everything. When I say everything is, don't believe what the doctors are telling you, because most therapy, most doctors, all they're trying to push is a pill. They're pushing pills and your food. I found out in the past year that what really exacerbates for me adhd and for most people is fast food and sugar and then in the process, so fast food is processed. So the processed fast food and the sugar those carbs and that sugar.

Melissa Franklin:

That's exactly what it is all that just fuels it.

Timothy Mabry:

It's like putting gasoline on a fire. Like, why is it we're doing this? And it's even in some of the drinks and food. It has dye in it. Red dye 40, specifically, is horrendous nobody believes me.

Melissa Franklin:

I talk about it all the time I'm. It's poison.

Timothy Mabry:

And, being in San Antonio, we love our barbacoa and Big Red.

Melissa Franklin:

Yes, right.

Timothy Mabry:

A few weeks ago. I don't like Big Red.

Melissa Franklin:

I'm going to say that I hate Big Red. It makes me go on. I don't even like the taste, but keep going.

Timothy Mabry:

Oh, I love the taste of it, especially with barbacoa, but I noticed after drinking like doing that barbacoa and Big Red my mind was it was bouncing off the walls. It was worse than alcohol. It's like liquid crack Soda same thing Like. I still like it, but I noticed that the next few days I'm just like whoa. What is happening?

Melissa Franklin:

Is it because of?

Melissa Franklin:

the sugar or the caffeine, because I will notice, if I drink a Coke, well, a Coca-Cola, like that's not diet, it's one thing, and that puts me in a state to where it throws off my eating habits and my things. So then that affects other things. But when I drink a Coke Zero or a Diet Coke, I may not like the flavor but at the same time I don't experience the same stuff. So I attribute it to the Coke or like to the sugar. I don't know what are your thoughts, or do you know at this point, like what it is for you?

Timothy Mabry:

I believe it's the sugar and the dyes. I know that one of the drinks I like to drink is Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew is one of the worst.

Melissa Franklin:

It's terrible, it's absolutely terrible. I'm not going to say it's one of the worst. It is the worst. I don't even know why we serve it in the office sometimes. I just remember, too, watching that one where that man tried to claim that he found a rat or a mouse inside of his Mountain Dew can and he sued them and they were able to prove that if a cat or a mouse had been stuck in there for at least two or three days, that it would have already completely dissolved.

Melissa Franklin:

So that's in our stomachs that's in our stomachs two to three days, like I think the whole theory was. If the can got there, then the mouse would have been completely dissolved, 100%, whatever. That's not even the point, but it's just like. So in two or three days that stuff sitting in my tummy could actually like act like acid on a mouse. What, and I put that? Or people, I don't put that, but people put that on their stomachs all the time. And no Red Bull Monsters. Same thing. I can't have them like that, because I get really sick and it actually inflames my intestines as well, like it's a ripple effect into a lot of things.

Melissa Franklin:

Yeah, I like how you highlighted that for parents they should look into everything. So let's just say, parents, loved ones, just friends and family of anyone who's struggling with some sort of mental wellness issues and they're having that struggle and they're looking for that support. I know the one thing I'm going to tell everybody on here is please don't be naive enough to tell them just to stop stressing about it, and please don't tell them naive enough things to like oh honey, just try to calm down, because that's not how it works and if anything, you're going to lose them and you're going to make them feel like you don't resonate with them whatsoever and they're going to tune you out. So what advice would you give to somebody, aside from the medications and aside from the food, maybe sleeping patterns, exercise, what do you think?

Timothy Mabry:

So for ADHD or for a lot of the stuff, it's besides diet and exercise. You can also do breathing techniques, like different types of breathing, sleep, finding happy places. When I was going through the therapy for the VA, one of the first steps before you actually see a psychologist or a therapist was you had to do a group counseling or group sessions, for I think it was six, and that was designed for those individuals who were just getting off of deployment, who had severe PTSD, and that was the group I was in, your ptsd and that was what the group I was in. Anyway, I I ran into a unique theory that I had never heard of and I actually got to see it and test it out of myself or other people and what that was is ptsd, anxiety, stress.

Timothy Mabry:

It's the body doing a fight or flight. It doesn't know how to process what's going on. Like a memory is so important because we can transport it back to a situation. The sights, the smells, the sounds and the brain can't differentiate between what's currently happening and what had happened. That's why memory.

Melissa Franklin:

It's our RAS trying to create that bias and put us in that state and it's trying to make sure like hey, we know what's coming, so prepare.

Timothy Mabry:

And it freaks us out, yes well, it's not even lots of anxiety. Anxiety is fear of the future. Depression is fear of the past. Yep, it's like they're holding you back.

Timothy Mabry:

But whenever you're having those states visualization, they have proven that if you visualize something, you close your eyes, you visualize a place and you just relax. You can feel it happening. It fires the exact same synapses in the brains as it does if it's actually happening. The brain can't differentiate it. So I first learned that I'm like that's interesting. So the technique that this doctor used was all right. I want you to imagine a happy place, some place that you absolutely love and adore, you are the happiest at. So when you close your eyes, remember that, picture it, that picture it and then remember how it made you feel the sights, the smells, the sounds, everything associated with it and put yourself back into it. As you start to breathe in through your nose for five seconds and out through your mouth for 10. You do that for several minutes and then he's like it'll defeat your ptsd episode, or I was like that's cool. Whatever, I didn't take much into it.

Melissa Franklin:

You didn't believe him and then you actually I didn't believe it.

Timothy Mabry:

Fast forward two days from that training or that little class. As the fire department, we got a call. I want to say it was 11 o'clock at night for a high school student who was going through an anxiety attack. She was having a bad anxiety attack in an apartment complex and her dad and family were yelling at her. They were like just quit it, quit, yell, quit your anxiety. Why? Why are you hyperventilating, just to snap out of it? I don't see what the big deal is. And it was just making it worse. And I was the rookie, I was one of the newest people on the truck during this call. So they were trying everything and they're concerned she's going to pass out. I was like, hey, let me try something. But when this happened, dad, you need to get out of the room. Everybody else back away from her.

Timothy Mabry:

So, she was hooked up to the monitor, her heart rate was over 150. Her blood pressure was spiking, like she was close to passing out, right. So I got down at eye level with her and I was like all right, we're going to do this breathing technique. How I described it is what I told her. I like, just look at me for the first little bit. Just look at me and I'm going to count for you. I'm going to do this with you. And after about two minutes on the monitor, you started to see a drop like her blood pressure and pulse started to drop. And then within five, after five minutes, it was back to normal. That's what's up. So within five minutes of doing this breathing technique, it was like okay, the. So within five minutes of doing this breathing technique, it was like okay, the brain within two minutes, like a little bit safer. Okay, maybe, maybe. And I just started to take it, it seems okay. Yeah, it's like okay, I think I'm safe. I mean, I can't tell, but if you're breathing calm and I'm visualizing happy places, then I must be safe. And it was after about five minutes. There's a full release.

Timothy Mabry:

We ended up getting a sign refusal and everyone was like what the hell did you do? How did you do that? I'm like I learned this and I told the doctor the next time I saw him. So the the following session I told him that and he was like, yeah, your reaction was just like mine.

Timothy Mabry:

He's like we were in um, they were in some other country at a hospital dealing with veterans, like during this experimental treatment. He's like I was dealing with vietnam veterans and when this was first introduced he's like I thought this was garbage. He's like I honestly thought that this whole thing was was um science fiction trash. But he's like I got to see it, just like you did with multiple people who were veterans, who are almost about to kill other people because they're having such severe ptsd straight out of a combat zone. To walking out of it like, yeah, this is cool, this is fine. He's like what the heck? And like it's proven to work. Like whenever I'm stressed and I'm like really anxious, that's what I do so have you been able to figure out why?

Timothy Mabry:

I can tell you sometimes no, I can actually tell you that part.

Melissa Franklin:

So that's actually cool. I love that you highlighted that, because one of the things that I take my clients on early in the program is something that we call morning savers, and the reason for it is we start with silence because if you can start in that vibrational state when you first wake up, you're in the lowest state, to where you're still connected with your conscious and no longer like in that beta state to where you're taking in whatever the world has thrown at you. Then I tell them go talk on those positive affirmations, every goal that we set. I want you to say it all like it's real and like it's present. Then we move into visualizations. I ask them first remember three moments in your life that were the most beautiful that you've ever had and that was something that I learned off of Tony Robbins coaching. And then it twists into once you're done with that, now I want you to visualize and they'll go. Look at their vision board and there's something about them going from naming their goals to putting themselves in the happiest states that they've ever been in, to now seeing their vision, and they're like I didn't even know how it was possible, but this week, like I went and I ran into so-and-so and so-and-so and so-and-so and everything just makes sense now and there's just something about that peace and calm, about them putting themselves in that mental state, that there's like an assurance or a readiness. And as I've dove more into it, the Bible will literally end up telling you, show me the man, or show me the boy at the age of seven, and I'll show you the man. And it's truly because our minds are conditioned for the first seven years to actually replicate that and that's what we are going to be programmed to do. The only way that you can break that is by conditioning new habits. So that's the whole thing on the atomic habits and like the power of that. But we can't improve or adjust unless we condition those habits.

Melissa Franklin:

So by going through a training like that, putting yourself in that calm state and just finally giving the brain the sense of, look, nothing actually happened, then the brain's like okay, we're safe, move forward. But if you don't get to experience that, you're like shit, what's happening? You're going to freak the F out. And I think that's amazing because a lot of people just don't realize. Put your brain through it. Yes, you're scared, so take that damn step and do it, and then, once you see that nothing happened, you're able to reprogram your mind to be like shit, I'm a badass, I can go do this, so that's really cool. I appreciate you sharing that. Timothy, I thank you so much for being on and joining us today. Honestly, your insights to leadership, personal growth and mental wellness are beyond valuable, so thank you for sharing your story and wisdom with us. I cannot wait for you to come and speak with our foundations group.

Timothy Mabry:

Well, thank you for having me and creating this space so we can share and to vibe off of each other. I like that's. One thing I like to do is just be able to help and give back. It's like, hey, this is my story, I was tested. Now it's a testimony and it's somebody else can hear like hey, these unique strategies working for me, and if it works for me, it might be able to work for you. But you don't know what. You don't know. There might be that little golden nugget that you hear today. That's like ah, I needed that. That's something that really can help me and push me to the next level. That's what I'm here for.

Melissa Franklin:

Well, we'll be sure to do a summary of your steps, because I love that and I truly believe that anybody who is ADHD or dealing with PTSD we may not be experts, you may not be a psychiatrist, you may not be the psychologist, but you will have some insights and tips and if somebody else wants to take those, then that would be great and I'll go ahead and make sure that we put them in the episode description so that way anybody wants to connect with you, timothy, if somebody is interested in your services and being able to connect with you where can they find you?

Timothy Mabry:

Well, they can find me almost everywhere.

Melissa Franklin:

We'll be sure to put that in the episode notes too, then as well. Well, thank you again, timothy, for joining us today, and, guys, thank you so much. I hope some of this resonated with somebody, and if it can at least get through to at least one person, it's always worth it sharing our stories and the vulnerability and putting it out there, and until next time, stay structured and smiling.