Structuring Chaotic Minds

Fertility Issues and the Path to Parenthood with Tracy Schmidt

• Melissa Franklin • Season 4 • Episode 3

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Season Four of Structuring Chaotic Minds continues with heartfelt conversations designed to inspire resilience and transformation. In this episode, host Melissa Franklin sits down with Tracy Schmidt, a health and fertility coach who helps women overcome fertility struggles by focusing on holistic physical and mental health.

Tracy shares her deeply personal journey to parenthood—a path filled with emotional highs and lows as she and her husband navigated the difficulties of starting a family. When conventional treatments and professional advice failed, Tracy made a life-changing decision to prioritize her health as the key to achieving her dream. Her journey not only led to the joy of motherhood but also sparked a passion for guiding other women through their own fertility challenges.

Key Takeaways:

  • The emotional rollercoaster of fertility struggles and its impact on mental health
  • How prioritizing physical well-being can be transformative for fertility
  • The importance of balancing self-care with external treatments
  • Finding hope and empowerment on the path to parenthood
  • Tracy’s journey to becoming a health and fertility coach and helping others heal

Whether you're navigating your own fertility journey or seeking inspiration to overcome life’s challenges, this episode offers empathy, guidance, and practical advice from someone who's been there.

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Join us for this uplifting conversation on turning adversity into purpose and discovering new paths to joy and fulfillment.


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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Structuring Chaotic Minds, the podcast where we turn the chaos of everyday challenges into structured success. I'm your host, melissa. In each episode, we'll explore innovative strategies, real-life stories and actionable insights to help you navigate the complexities of leadership, business and personal growth. Whether you're an entrepreneur, a leader or someone striving for personal development, this podcast will give you the tools to create clarity in the chaos. Let's dive in what happens when hope feels lost and the dream of starting a family feels impossible. Today, we're diving into a deeply personal and transformative topic. We're talking about fertility issues and the path to parenthood.

Speaker 1:

My guest today is Tracy Schmidt. She knows this journey intimately, not just as a coach, but as someone who walked it herself. Tracy works to empower couples to be able to reclaim their health, hope and the family that they've always desired. We're going to be talking about her story today and we're going to be gaining from her expertise and the family that they've always desired. We're going to be talking about her story today and we're going to be gaining from her expertise and the incredible resilience that turns chaos into new beginnings. Stay tuned. It's a conversation you're not going to want to miss, tracy. Welcome to Structuring Chaotic Minds. I am so excited to have you here today. Your story of inspiring a blend of personal resilience and professional passion is really exciting, and I cannot wait for you to share it with everybody.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much, Melissa. I'm so happy to be here to talk about this important subject.

Speaker 1:

Before we dive in how are you and what's something that you're most excited about today?

Speaker 2:

Oh, I am doing well, thank you. I am in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, so, you know, just trying to get everything organized and make sure I have everything I need for Christmas Day. But yeah, well, and what am I excited about is, I guess, getting things done for the holidays. I feel like I'm finally, even though I have a lot to do, I know what I have to do and I have a plan for it. So while I was freaking out earlier this week, I finally have hit a place of calm.

Speaker 1:

So I feel like knowing what you have to do is part of the battle, so that's a good point, all right. Well, thinking about that, tracy, I'm excited. Let's start talking about this actual journey you've gone through. So thinking about it. Being a fertility coach probably didn't happen overnight. What made you start this journey? Can you share a little bit about what brought you here and why this mission is so close to your heart?

Speaker 2:

Yes, so I, I studied to be a health coach, probably about four or five years ago, and because I've always had a passion for health and wellness, when I was younger I lost my parents when I was 21 when my father passed away, and 24 when my mom passed away from debilitating diseases. I just watched as their health deteriorated. So in my early 20s I just started researching what I could do to improve my health in order to have a better quality of life throughout all of my years, to have a better quality of life throughout all of my years. And yeah, it was just something that just again just spurred my curiosity, something I was very much interested in. And then, you know, over the years have had to tackle some different, like you know, health challenges like acid reflux and something and stuff like that, but nothing like really you know crazy or tragic, but just some health struggles that I've used my knowledge to overcome. And then, when I was in my late thirties, I had gotten married. My husband and I knew from when we were dating that we wanted to have a family and when we got married, we wanted, we knew we wanted to start that family right away, because we were older and so forth, and I had trouble at that time with a fibroid and was under the care of a doctor and so forth. And, and looking back on my journey, I I don't know why I took this path, but as soon as the you know, the doctor helped me with my fibroid, she then just really just like to me with my fibroid. She then I just really just like, not push me, but like, move me graciously into the world of fertility treatments. And she's just like you're 39. At this point, you know, you want to have a family. The thing that you should do next is start taking Clomid and, you know, have the timed intercourse and all of that. And I was just like, oh, ok, I guess this is what people do, but I'm going to, we're going to do that. And then you know, six months later, no success. And then she was like, ok, well, you're almost 40. At this point, I'm not even going to, we're not, not even going to recommend IUI for you, I'm recommending IVF. So I was like, oh, okay, I guess this is what people do. I'm like I feel like I just didn't even have a chance to try on my own, like she just has me going for this, this and this.

Speaker 2:

And IVF started that when I was 40 and went through two cycles of it and two frozen embryo transfers and unfortunately they were not successful. The first one ended in a chemical pregnancy, then the second one ended in a miscarriage, and so yeah'm 41 at this point and you know, my husband and I were just left devastated because of it was such an emotional roller coaster that unless you're really on, I don't think you really understand what happens. And it was just, you know, I just felt like I was like just a shell of myself after all of that and my husband and I. My husband was like, all right, well, let's just try on our own, like we had. We had used up all of our insurance money at this point and and he's like, let's just try on our own. And I was just like, okay, we'll try. And and I did want to try for sure my doctor told me donor eggs were my next viable option, so he wasn't even recommended that I go for another round of IVF. So it's either donor eggs or we try on our own. So we ended up trying on our own, but I really wasn't in the right mental space to try on my own for a while.

Speaker 2:

My husband and I probably had this conversation in April, may of 2018.

Speaker 2:

And it really wasn't until the end of the year that I was like, okay, okay, I am starting to feel better.

Speaker 2:

I ran into a friend at my corporate job at the time and she was a nurse and she's like, well, I don't remember how I shared with her what I was going through.

Speaker 2:

Like, looking back, I'm like when did I share this with her? Why did I share with her that I was trying to get pregnant? You know, because a lot of people do keep it to themselves. And I still remember her face telling me well, you know, you can improve your health and you can get pregnant on your own. And I literally remember her face and I was like, oh, my goodness, really Like, and that just was like spurred me and like, you know, back on my like research health journey, I'm like all right, and she gave me some advice on what to do and so forth. And then it was like I don't know, I see, like, as January, like it was December 1st, december 31st of January 1st like something clicked, like it was the new year, it was like something within me clicked and I was like, oh my goodness, this is a fresh start. This is a fresh start on the year. This is a fresh start on my fertility journey.

Speaker 1:

And.

Speaker 2:

I take what I learned, took what I learned from the doctor and stuff that I learned on my own, and I started implementing new healthy ways and I was when I taught, I was like full speed ahead, like nose to the ground. I was going to figure this out and I did, and then I got pregnant in February of that year. So, yes, yes, so that is my story in a nutshell and that is why when I, when I started practicing health coaching, deciding like who I wanted to help because, like I mentioned, I had stomach issues- in the past.

Speaker 2:

at first I you know I was helping women with that, but then I was like then I realized I'm like this journey was so profound on my life and had so many impacts to not just, you know, the husband and I in our future, but like what I was going through on a day-to-day basis my job, my relationship with my friends, my relationship with my friends, my relationship with my husband like and just had like a ripple effect that I just really feel deeply that I want to help women and couples who are going through this journey.

Speaker 1:

You focus on improving egg health now and balancing hormones, reducing toxicity, but I know mental health and emotional health are also equally important. How do you integrate both of those aspects into your coaching today?

Speaker 2:

Yes, that's great.

Speaker 2:

So my coaching I work with women for six months at least and we meet on a weekly basis and when we go through, like I go through a plan to improve health at the cellular level, to bring things into balance and to remove toxins and so forth.

Speaker 2:

But really a key part of the coaching is the mental health aspect of it, because I knew like that was a huge part of my journey too, knew like that was a huge part of my journey too, and after you've been trying to get pregnant for years and it hasn't worked, your mental health has really taken a nosedive and you're not sure if this is going to happen for you, why this is happening to you, and so forth. So everyone deals with it, everyone has different circumstances, but it all results really in the. You really have to have that the positive mental health, mental aspect of it in order to move forward and believe that this is going to happen for you have that hope that this is going to happen for you. So, yeah, and you know it takes time, but but working together weekly and and unpacking all of this, you know what's happened in the past, but also what's happening happening currently too and and you know, producing, producing strategies in order to handle day-to-day situations, and so forth. So mental health is is a key part of it.

Speaker 1:

Well that, Thinking about couples who feel like they've already tried all that and they've tried everything, I love that you pointed out hope. What's your message? To help them and find hope again.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So what I like to tell my clients and others is, you know, just because it hasn't happened yet yet doesn't mean it's not going to happen, and I like to use the word yet a lot. I haven't gotten pregnant yet. You know, it doesn't mean it's not going to happen. Like, I am a Christian and I believe in God and timing and his timing and everything too, and sometimes it's just, you know, submitting to him and what he wants and he is our hope, my hope, you know, and looking to him for that guidance and so forth. And that spirituality was a huge part of my journey as well. Journey as well and finding hope in God and what he has promised and laid on my heart. That just because it hasn't happened in my timing or when I wanted it to, doesn't mean that it's not going to happen.

Speaker 1:

Let's dive deeper, then, into mental wellness and breaking stigmas, for fertility struggles. They're not just physical, I mean, we're talking about it. They're mental, they're emotional. What are some of the biggest mental health challenges that your clients end up facing, and how do you help them navigate those?

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, so mental health, I would say them really feeling like they're not enough. You know, as women we are brought up, you know we're young, we're girls, we play babies, we play house. You know we have that, that dream of maybe not everyone, but becoming a mom. And you know that's what we were designed for, that's what our bodies were. And when that doesn't happen, sometimes it's like the feeling of inadequacy or, yes, broken. Not feeling enough is debilitating, is debilitating.

Speaker 1:

I felt that with what you just said, because you were saying something and you pointed out not everybody, but you said growing up, you play house, you do those things. I wasn't that little girl, I wasn't. He's really tomboy. I played in the dirt. I would put on a backpack and pretend like I was walking into an auditorium because my dream was to go to college and that's what I aspired when I was little. But I graduated super early. I wanted to get out there. I was in college at 17. When I got told by a doctor it looks like you're not going to be able to have kids past 23. And maybe it was the masculinity, the misogyny, I don't know. But the comment was you're a young woman. If you don't have children now, then you'll never be good for anything. And that, to come from a doctor, was just like oh, all of a sudden I wanted to get married and have children.

Speaker 1:

And I was trying to grow into this sunset to say that I wasn't broken. And it's such a weird thing because it made such a shift and you pointed out when you said that, and it's not wrong, it's not the same way for everybody and it's not wrong, it's not the same way for everybody. But the moment that gets taken away from you, how broken and inadequate I'm so sure many other women feel too, because I have definitely experienced it myself. Breaking stigmas, then fertility struggles can be so isolating because the stigma surrounding them and we don't talk about them. How do you start to break those barriers in our communities?

Speaker 2:

That's great, that's a great question and I think you know just little by little, you know as when going through it, knowing and working to improve. You know working on your mental health too. So where you feel comfortable talking to others about it, you know that's as someone going through it. But also I think you know as practitioners we need to do a better job as well as getting out there in the communities and letting people know like this is normal.

Speaker 2:

This is unfortunately becoming more normal, like before it was one in eight couples would suffer with infertility. Now it's one in six and, yes, it's just becoming more prevalent, more prevalent. And I think, yes, as you know again, we have we have to do a better job of getting out there and talking about it more and letting people know when you do feel that inadequate, broken feeling you tend to, you want to be isolated, you don't want to talk about it and open up. You know could be a very fearful to do so, but yeah, I think the more we do open up and you shed the light on the darkness, it number one it makes you start to feel better too as someone going through it, and then as practitioners, we just help others go through it a lot of people will struggle with infertility, especially when it comes to faith and their different religious beliefs as well.

Speaker 1:

Your faith definitely plays a big role, though, in your life and your work. How does it shape the way that you approach coaching and connect with your clients?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so I believe that this is the work that God placed on me to help others, to help his children, and it really feels purposeful for me, you know, and it just feels like this is something I should be doing. So so, yeah, this it just like motivates me to get out and to reach more women and couples who are going through this. You know, bring as best as I can like my faith into the coaching as well, to help give others. You know the hope that that I have experienced through this.

Speaker 1:

That hope and faith definitely leads us over to our next section, where we're going to talk about life, family and balance. So let's start with family life. You're a mom to two amazing daughters. You have peyton and sammy. You've built a life focused on connection and activity. How does your own family inspire and ground you in the work that you do?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's amazing. Being a mom, yes, is challenging, and you know, especially when you have younger kids. Well, I think any age being a mom is challenging, as I'm learning from my friends who have older children. But it's funny because as they grow up, like I look at them and I'm like, oh my goodness, like I've wanted you, like I prayed for you, I worked so hard to have you and now you're here.

Speaker 2:

You know, my oldest just turned five and I remember I think it was like last night or the night before just watching her move around through the kitchen and her little high heel, little, little tiny heel on them but she thinks she calls them high heels and and, um, they make that noise on the, you know, on the floor and stuff. And she's just watching her walk through, like she is like like I have these cool shoes and going to help her sister do something, or you know, and I'm just like, oh my goodness, like you are amazing. So I just am in awe of my kids sometimes and know how again it just, it just like brings me back to my journey and how much I you know how I tried to have them and struggle so hard. So, um, yeah, it just uh grounds me that others are wanting this, and if I can help them through it, then again it goes back to my purpose and fulfilling them.

Speaker 1:

That is definitely a blessing. One of the things we like to inspire our clients to do is find balance and accept that balance comes with chaos, and the reality is we're all sitting on a little balance, but in order to be effective, we have to accept that there's give and take. So it's balancing chaos for our listeners who are balancing personal challenges, especially with their professional goals. What piece of advice would you give to them to stay resilient and hopeful?

Speaker 2:

what piece of advice would you give to them to stay resilient and hopeful? Yeah, so I think it. Like it all comes back to mindset as well, too, and realizing, yes, there's each stage of our lives is going to be busy and it's managing that busyness and managing what's going on in our brains, you know, and that's why I think coaching, you know, has helped me so much to realize it. Like, for example, you know, when I'm late or rushing, my brain like tends to like go on overdrive, like, oh my goodness, I have to get this, I have to do this, I have to do this, like don't forget this, oh, my goodness, you know, in those I've learned to like, it's when those moments happen I'm trying to rush, so I'm not late, or to remember things, but it's a, you know, taking a step back to say, all right, what can I do ahead of time to help prepare myself for those moments?

Speaker 2:

And then, knowing that the the story that's going on in my head is only creating more chaos, so, to manage that as well, and it doesn't matter how fast I go If I think I'm, like, you know, going like Speedy Gonzalez here, I'm really not saving myself any time here, I'm really not saving myself any time, like I'm not saving five minutes, I'm not saving like maybe probably not even saving one minute, but I'm just adding to the chaos. So, accepting that it is there, being able to plan ahead as best as possible, but when it does happen, is saying taking a breather, saying it's okay, we will get through this, I'll figure out the best way forward. And I also like to assess certain things and I'm like all right, if something doesn't happen, what's the worst that can happen? Yes, so I run that through my brain as well and yeah, exactly, exactly that's how I handle my anxiety yes, worst case scenario question all right, let's move to our rapid fire round.

Speaker 1:

I want to shift gears and have a little bit of fun, so the first thing that comes to mind, just go ahead and answer it. What's one health tip everyone should know?

Speaker 2:

one health tip is that you can impact your health by what you eat, what you feed your mind, your spirit as well. We are whole beings mind, body and soul so you do have power over your health.

Speaker 1:

I love that.

Speaker 2:

Best piece of advice you ever received. I would say how like again going back to my nurse friend who told me that I can improve my health to get pregnant on my own, and she just really empowered me to move forward and that changed my life. Changed my life.

Speaker 1:

Those aha moments. Last one what's your favorite way to recharge after a long day?

Speaker 2:

I like to be by myself, I like to sit quietly. I'm not a big like, I like TV, but I don't like a lot of the noise sometimes. So especially this is a great question. For these past few weeks I've just, at the end of the day, would just sit in my living room and by myself, collect my thoughts for the day, wind down, write out a list for things I need to do tomorrow or you know things I don't. Write out a list for things I need to do tomorrow, or you know things I don't. So I don't forget and I can go to bed with a clear mind and not not worrying about certain things. But but yeah, I'm, I'm one who just likes to recharge by myself and then sometimes do a yoga, like a nighttime yoga practice, before bed as well.

Speaker 1:

I love that For our listeners who might be on their own fertility journey or know someone who is. Where can they connect with you and learn more about your coaching?

Speaker 2:

Yes, so I can be found on Facebook and Instagram at Tracy Schmidt hyphen, healthy beginnings, and I can give you those exact handles and yes, and or through email. But yes, I can give you my handle, so they can. So anyone can you know, reach out, send me a, send me a message, you know, and check out my, my content to, to see what resonates and and what helps you along your journey.

Speaker 1:

We will be sure to be sharing that in the show notes. So anything other advice or tips you want to add as well, we will be sharing that for everybody. So if you guys didn't understand how to spell something or you're a little thrown off by what the handles are, go ahead and check the show notes. So at Structuring Chaotic Minds, we aim to empower people to really navigate that chaos, accept it but really thrive. Your work is such a powerful example of that, especially when it comes to fertility. So, tracy, thank you so much for sharing your journey and your expertise with us today, for our listeners.

Speaker 1:

Remember that no matter how chaotic life feels, hope and structure can always find light and the way forward. Thank you for joining us and we'll see you next time. Light and the way forward. Thank you for joining us and we'll see you next time. Thank you for tuning into Structuring Chaotic Minds. If today's episode resonated with you, don't forget to subscribe, share and leave a review. Remember the key to success is not avoiding chaos but learning how to structure it. Stay inspired, keep growing and join me next time as we continue to transform challenges into opportunities. Until then, take care and keep structuring your chaotic mind.

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